The Plan: An Artemis Fowl Fanfiction
by Fluffy Nabs
Summary: Post The Last Guardian (TLG): Artemis, now 18, has a plan to make loving Holly possible, and happily ever after a reality for both of them. Ongoing story - reviews are love!
1. Chapter 1

Artemis Fowl found himself to be in a bit of a quandary. He'd been in plenty of quandaries before, sometimes with lives on the line, sometimes his own. And somehow he'd always found a way to think of a solution. That was one of the perks of having one of the highest IQs on the planet, human or otherwise.

The trouble was that, at eighteen, Artemis was in love. Or rather, he found himself still in love, after more than four years of trying to suppress the feeling. The reason for all the emotional turmoil was because Artemis Fowl was almost certain that the woman in question did not, in fact, return his romantic interest. Her name was Captain Holly Short, of Section 8, a member of the underground fairy defense system, and she was an elf.

There were quite a few reasons Artemis believed that she didn't love him back. First and foremost, she'd told him so, several years ago when he was suffering from a psychological disorder known as the Atlantis Complex. Secondly, because Holly was the sort of women who looked at the world with a very practical eye, something Artemis wholeheartedly approved of, and she was of the opinion that interspecies romances were rather hopeless at best. Being an elf, Holly had hundreds, perhaps thousands, of years left to her life, barring accident or illness to cut it short. They existed in different worlds, she underground, he above, and though they were often in each other's company, in the current situation it would be next to impossible to build a life together. She was also much shorter than him, not quite waist high. No matter how you looked at it, the discrepancies in their size would make things, like kissing, rather awkward at best.

Except that kissing was exactly what Artemis Fowl was thinking of doing just at this very moment. He'd been kissed before, once, by this same elf that he was currently obsessing over, when they'd travelled back in time – he'd gotten older, she'd gotten younger, and in a fit of hormonal pique and emotional excess, she'd kissed him out of sheer relief that he'd been alive.

Right this second he was propped against the wall of a cave and his shirt was half-off, and Holly was leaning over him to take a look at the long scratches across his chest. If the truth were told, Artemis was rather proud of his chest. After coming back to life (long story there) he had decided to actually use the exercise equipment Butler had given him. Mainly because Butler had insisted and actually stood over him to make sure it was done, and also because his little brother, only five at the time, had soundly beaten him in an arm-wrestling contest, and Holly had found the entire scene hilarious. The humiliation had been the last straw.

Exercise had done him good. While he was still a slight figure, he now had long, lean muscles and a newfound endurance that had saved his life since, more than once. His skin would always be pale, but there were healthy tinges of pink to his cheeks and lips. And he'd actually found that while he was on the treadmill the increased blood flow to his brain allowed him to think more clearly than usual, an unexpected bonus that delighted him to no end.

Artemis watched Holly frown thoughtfully at the goblin-induced injuries on his pectoral muscles and drag a black glove from her petite, slender hand. "I can fix that," she told him, and reached toward the wounds. A tiny blue spark kindled to life on her index finger, but before she could send it to him, Artemis reached up and gently caught her wrist. They were so close, and he could smell the faint lemon-and-sweet-grass scent of her. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

But Artemis didn't answer right away. He just looked at her. Her short-cropped auburn hair was messy, not quite covering her delicately pointed ears. He met her eyes, one hazel and the other a dark blue that exactly matched his own for the simple fact that it _was_ his, from his original body, before he'd died and his soul had been resurrected into a soulless clone. One of the things he missed the most about his old body was having her eye, a part of her all to himself. Holly tilted her head slightly and frowned a little when he didn't answer. He held her gaze for a moment longer and then looked down at her mouth.

Holly never wore makeup. She didn't really need to, in his opinion. Her nut-brown skin was smooth and perfect and soft, her big eyes were luminous and the mismatched irises made them intriguing, and her cupid-bow lips were soft and lush, a deep reddish pink that had lately been driving him quite mad. He pulled up the memory of that single kiss they'd shared, of the warmth and electric tingles, the sweet, slight press of her against him, the shock that had run through him and the urge to do… something. Slowly, Artemis inhaled, and licked his lips, and then raised his eyes to hers again.

Clearly, she understood at that moment what was going through his head. A flush had risen in her cheeks, mostly from embarrassment. She pulled her wrist out of his grasp. "It will only take a moment," she told him. Then she touched her fingers to the wound and that blue healing spark jumped to him. "Heal," she breathed, and he did.

Then she stood up and put her glove back on. "Come on," she said to him. "I could use the help getting him back to the station."

"Alright, Holly," Artemis said, and his voice surprised even him, somehow deeper than usual, and roughened by something that he finally decided to stop fighting. He watched her shiver, and smiled.

He had a plan, and though he couldn't be sure it would work, he'd try everything he could to ensure that it did.


	2. Chapter 2

Holly was at his house, because he'd asked her to come. She'd come through the front door, as she had been for years, ever since Artemis had come back to life. It was a resurrection which couldn't be _mesmered_ out of his family's head – there was just too much evidence, what with the grave, the funeral, the obituaries, the will, and all – and so all of the Fowls were privy to the secret of the fairy underground. And they were all, always being watched. Watching the Fowl family, and working with Artemis the younger to save the world, was pretty much Holly's full-time job, now, along with several others on her team, one for each Fowl. Holly was the only one who ever went inside, because she'd been invited.

Juliette let her in, and Holly made her way upstairs to Artemis' office. The door was open, and he was at his computer, clicking away with his mouse. She felt a bit comforted by the surrounds, purely professional. Artemis was her friend – her best and closest friend, actually – but that moment in the cave the other day had left her flustered and confused for hours afterward.

"Ah, Holly," he greeted, when he realized she'd arrived. "Thank you for coming. I wanted to show you something that you'll find interesting." He beckoned her and she stepped into the room and walked up to his desk.

"What is it?" she asked, peering up at the multiple screens. "Looks like… medical information. DNA and stuff."

"Exactly right," Artemis agreed lightly. "Mine, to be specific." He stood and waved a hand at the chair, and Holly took the invitation to sit in it to view it better.

"I'm afraid I don't know much about genetics, Artemis," she told him. "You'll have to explain."

"Of course," he said. He clasped his hands behind his back and paced slowly back and forth behind her. "Ever since Foaly and you brought me back into this cloned body, I've been running certain tests, just to make sure everything is… in its proper place, so to speak."

Holly nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"Aside from a slight polydactyl mutation that caused the sixth toe, which has of course, been removed surgically," Artemis said, "Everything seems to be in good order. That is… except for one thing."

"What?" Holly asked, turning from the medical jargon to look up at his face.

Artemis came closer and placed a hand on the back of the chair. He leaned in, bringing him quite close to her – but he was pointing to the screens. "My telomeres," he told her. "Think of them as end-caps on my genes. Every time a cell replicates itself, the telomeres grow shorter. This is actually why humans and other creatures age, and eventually die. The longer your telomeres are, the longer your life is." Though he was speaking matter-of-factly, Holly had a hard time ignoring the fact that he was invading her private space. She stared resolutely at the screen. "Mine aren't shortening normally. Cell division and apoptosis seem to be fine, everything else is happening as it should."

Holly frowned at the screens and glanced up at him. He was looking down at her at just the same moment and for a moment she could smell the sweet mint of his breath, mingled with some kind of heady, earthy scent from his aftershave. Her head spun, and she had to clear her throat. "What does that mean for you?" she asked, suddenly concerned that he would grow old and die far sooner than he would have normally.

But Artemis smiled and knelt down so that his face was almost level with hers where she sat in the chair. He captured one of her hands in his and squeezed it gently. "What it means is that I am aging incredibly slowly. At best guess, I have another two thousand years left."

Holly froze and stared at him. "What?" she asked. "But _how_?"

Artemis shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think Foaly must've done it, somehow. He never kept electronic records of my cloning process, since it was illegal. If he has anything, it's written down, and even I can't hack a paper file from here." He smiled up at her. "Holly, don't you see what this means?"

She just stared at him for a moment. Artemis Fowl's smiles were rare, and the tenderness he was displaying was even more so. "You… you're not going to wither and die," she finally murmured. "You'll live maybe as long as I will. Maybe even longer."

He nodded. "That's right. You won't have to say goodbye to me. You won't have to bury me again in eighty or ninety years."

Holly shuddered, remembering all too vividly the sight of his corpse on the ground, limp and lifeless. And then she surged forward and flung her arms around his neck in a fierce hug. "The Council isn't going to like this," she said.

Artemis wrapped his arms around her, gentle and careful, and hugged back. "There's nothing they can do about it," he replied. He closed his eyes to savor the feel of her in his arms. They'd shared hugs dozens of times, but more and more he'd come to value them as more than simply an embrace between friends, at least on his part. He turned his nose into her short auburn hair and silently inhaled the scent of her.

She started to pull back, but Artemis kept his hold on her for just a second longer, and dared to kiss her cheek. Then he let her go.

Holly got up out of the chair and crossed her arms, and paced back and forth; mimicking the path he'd taken earlier. "Have you told your family?" she asked him.

He was standing where he'd been kneeling, and was watching her. He nodded. "Yes. Mother and Father don't know what to think. Butler is beside himself with worry over who'll protect me once he's gone." He sobered. "But I think I know how you felt. Now I'll have to watch my parents and even brothers grow old… eventually they'll look older than me. Eventually, they'll die. And I will keep going."

Holly stopped her pacing to look up at Artemis, and her expression softened. "I'm sorry," she said. After a moment she attempted to cheer him up. "You could become the family guardian. You can look after their children, and their grand-children, and so on."

Artemis nodded. "Already something I've considered. Since I'm legally dead, the twins will inherit everything, anyway. We've known that for years. All I have are my own accounts." Both of them knew that these accounts were under a false identity, as Artemis Fowl II was no longer entitled to open a bank account under his own name, except in Haven. Even that had been a tricky legal conundrum. They also both knew that Artemis, under an assumed name, actually did own several houses all over the world, in England, France, America, Japan, China, South Africa, and Italy.

He also owned one house in Haven, as a matter of fact. Holly didn't know that, yet, though. Renovations were under way to make it comfortable – with high enough ceilings that he could stand fully, and spacious rooms with plenty of furniture that would accommodate him. Bearing in mind his long-term plan to woo her, he'd also equipped it with a state-of-the art training dojo and plenty of elf-sized accommodations.

Artemis thought that his plan was going well. The age thing was now a non-issue. All that was left were Holly's reluctance to consider cross-species romances as feasible, and their size differences. Of the latter he could do nothing, but as for the former…

He'd better get to work.

"I think I should speak to Foaly about this discovery," Artemis finally said.

Holly nodded right away. "Agreed. Perhaps he'll have something in his records to explain how this happened. Maybe there are other things in there that you haven't figured out, yet." She turned toward the door and started toward it. "Come on, I'll bring you down there."


	3. Chapter 3

"I have no explanation," Foaly said after Artemis and Holly had informed him of this unexpected longevity.

"Really?" Artemis asked, raising an eyebrow. "Not that I don't appreciate having twenty times the lifespan I'd expected, I'm just curious as to how it happened. Also, there is the concern that there may be other side effects which aren't so benign."

Foaly spread his hands. "I don't now what to tell you, Fowl. I destroyed my notes. All of 'em. And the chrysalis is gone, the Council saw to that."

"Surely you kept records," Holly protested. "You _always_ keep records. They have to be somewhere."

"I'm telling you, there's nothing left," Foaly insisted stubbornly. "And a good thing, too. Imagine fifty years from now when little Artemis here is obviously _not_ growing old the way he _should_ be. I can already see the crazed mobs of people who'd want to use that technology for something selfish and/or sinister." He folded his arms. "It must've been something Opal Koboi did to the chrysalis. Seeing as how I am not _actually_ a medical doctor, I was stretched to my limit just to keep that body of yours alive. It was not easy, let me tell you. I was teaching myself as I went, and more than once I made educated guesses. Frankly, it's a bleeding miracle that an extra toe and some funny telomeres are all that went wrong."

Holly made a motion with her hands like she was strangling the air, and from the glare she shot at the centaur it didn't take a genius to figure out that she'd like to be strangling _him_. "You never said anything about that at the time," she said testily.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't about to was I?" Foaly retorted. "Not with you breathing down my neck for six month and fretting and moaning. You were this close to going off the deep end, no need for me to give you that extra push."

"What's done is done," Artemis cut in before the bickering went any further. "I'm simply grateful to be alive at all. But Foaly, if you don't mind, can I pick your brain? I'm well aware that even if your notes are gone, your knowledge is not. Perhaps in the course of our conversation we'll learn more about what may have happened to me."

"You two have fun with that," Holly said. " I've got paperwork to do. Call me if you need me."

Artemis and Foaly watched her go and then the centaur turned back to the human. " You've been picking my brain about what I did for almost three years," he said. "You know full well I destroyed those records. You just started talking technical to get Holly to leave. What is it you really want to talk to me about?"

"Holly, of course," answered Artemis.

"Of course," sighed Foaly. "What is it?"

"I love her," Artemis said simply. "I really, truly love her. And while I have enough skill in multi-tasking that I can't truthfully say that she's _all_ I ever think about, thoughts of her take up a considerable amount of my attention."

Foaly started fidgeting with various odds and ends on his desk. "Look, Arty, I don't know if I'm the one to talk to about this. I mean… you're a human. She's an elf. How can it possibly work out?"

"I don't see why it shouldn't, now that we all know I won't be dying off in the near future," Artemis pointed out.

"You're twice her size," Foaly said, aghast. "I can't imagine how awkward kissing would be, let alone…" the centaur blushed. "Let alone anything _else_."

Artemis turned red, too, and stuck his hands into his trousers pockets. "Firstly, I cite the precedent of Turnball Root and Leonor. Secondly, that really wouldn't be any of your business," he said briskly. "I simply want to be with her for the rest of my life. My now considerably long life."

"And that's another thing," Foaly said. "You're eighteen. You can't really make that kind of decision at that age."

"_Technically_ I'm twenty-one," Artemis said with an arched eyebrow. "And you of all people should understand that I'm more than capable of making all kinds of decisions. Decisions like how to save lives, and even how to save the world. I think we can agree that I've matured since you met me ten years ago. I haven't been a little boy for a long time."

Foaly sighed and crossed his arms, drumming his fingers against his arms. "So why do you want to talk to me about this?" he finally asked.

"You're happily married," Artemis said. "The only one I know, besides my parents, who is. You even have a foal on the way. I love Holly; I want to make her happy, but I'm not sure how. I was hoping you could give me advice."

Foaly, who'd been unable to stop the grin at the reminder of his imminent son or daughter, sobered at Artemis' request. "Advice? On how to woo Holly?" Artemis nodded and Foaly just stared at him. "I have no idea," he said at last. "I've heard some stories…"

"Yes?" prompted Artemis.

"Of Holly. On dates, you know. They're not very _complimentary_." Foaly fidgeted, unwilling to pass on the gossip.

"Holly… went on dates," Artemis repeated. "With other elves." He held himself very still as he processed this. "How long ago?" he asked casually.

"Oh," Foaly dithered. "Last I heard about was perhaps a couple of years. As far as I know she doesn't get many who ask. There was Kelp, two or three times, but…"

The hands in Artemis' pockets balled into fists and he clenched his jaw. "I see," he said evenly. "Now Kelp is with that Frond woman. Is _that_ why Holly dislikes her so much?"

"Oh, no," Foaly reassured him. "Holly hasn't liked her for _ages_. Thinks she's a bimbo that gives a bad image to women in the LEP." The centaur paused. "To be fair, Holly's right."

Artemis nodded and slowly relaxed again, once more in control of his emotions. "Do you have any suggestions?" he asked.

"Er… no," Foaly finally said. "If she ever does decide to love you, well… I can't say as how I'd find that entirely comfortable to think about, but then again it's nothing that affects me, is it? Just – just keep being her friend, Arty. She already loves you, I know that. As a friend." Artemis nodded. "But I just don't know how to tell you to turn that friendship love into romantic love."

Artemis sighed, and Foaly shifted from hoof to hoof. "I just can't see traditional things working on her, is all," the centaur explained. "Dinner, flowers, chocolate, that kind of thing. Maybe if you got her a weapon of some kind? A... personalized... throwing ax?" He was grasping at straws, and they both knew it.

Artemis actually stared at Foaly for a second before a grin worked its way across his mouth, there and gone again in a couple of seconds. "You've given me something to consider, at least," he said. "I'll leave you to your work." And with that he turned and left.

Foaly stared after him and sighed. "Never chooses the easy path," he muttered to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Artemis Fowl had set his mind on achieving something and didn't intend to let anything get in his way. He sat in the middle of his new living room in the upscale part of Haven city. The renovations weren't scheduled to be finished for another month, but he'd sent the crew home so that he could pace and think without having every citizen of Haven stare at him openly. Being one of only two humans allowed in the underground city of the People, and openly acknowledged as a hero, tended to make one something of a celebrity.

He rhythmically pressed the pad of his left thumb to his fingers, index to pinky and back again, a way of focusing his thoughts.

Holly. Brave, fierce, beautiful, deadly Holly Short, who had saved his life more times than he cared to count. He'd returned the favor quite a lot. They made a fantastic team, the two of them, in every way. He just had to convince her somehow to add one more dimension to their relationship.

Artemis really only had one hurdle to overcome, the way he saw it; the fact that he was human, and that Holly didn't seem too favorably inclined to interspecies romances. But in his favor was the fact that she did already love him, at least platonically; the fact that she had initiated their one and only kiss; the fact that there was precedence in the case of Turnball Root and his human love, Leonor; and the fact that she'd blushed when he'd made it obvious he wanted to kiss her in the cave. He knew that most of that had been caused by embarrassment, but not all of it.

Not all of it. There had been something in her eyes, some bit of remembrance. She had recalled their kiss, and that kiss had been pleasurable for her. For all her bluster, she was only flesh and blood, after all – a perfectly healthy female elf. On some instinctive level she yearned for the same things that everyone else yearned for – companionship, love, and passion.

Artemis knew he already supplied the first two. The third was all that remained.

It's true that he was a good 67 centimeters taller than she was. It's true that this difference might make things a bit awkward when it came to kissing and… other things. But Artemis, being a well-read young man, knew that there were ways of being close that had nothing to do with height. Based on his research, he was positive that he could satisfy her passion as well as her need for companionship and love.

Just thinking about it made him blush, he could feel the heat on his face. He took several deep breaths to calm himself. He needed Holly to want him like he wanted her. He needed her to accept that on some level, she already did.

However, as much as he had recently improved, Artemis knew that he wasn't exactly what anyone would consider an imposing physical specimen. At 165 centimeters, he wasn't getting any taller – good for him, in this particular case. For all his exercise, he would never have Butler's muscular prowess. Or even Juliette's, for that matter. He was destined to be slender for the rest of his life. And he was slow, and still somewhat awkward, and not terribly coordinated. He was hopeless in a physical fight, although he had been improving in his marksmanship.

So, impressing her physically was out of the question. She had already seen his intellect in operation, and relied on it as needed whenever they were in a pickle, just as he relied on her LEP training and fine instincts.

Perhaps a gift of some sort. Artemis pondered this for a while. Of course he could buy her anything at all. If he'd really thought that Foaly's suggestion of an engraved throwing ax would kindle her interest, he might have done that. But somehow, giving Holly a deadly weapon didn't seem just the right kind of romantic message. He briefly considered composing a poem for her, or a song, but Orion had rather ruined that years ago.

Suddenly Artemis stood and walked through his house. All that was left was the kitchen, his lab, a bathroom, and most of the décor. His bedroom was already fully furnished, as was an adjoining guest room full of elf-sized furniture, a mostly-empty office, and an art studio.

He would paint her a picture.

He spent four days on the task. Normally, something this size would have only taken him two, but mid-way through the first he got an idea and began work on a second, and he switched back and forth between them until they were both finished.

The second picture was for him and him alone. He'd painted a portrait of Holly, naturally. His visual memory was perfect, and his technique was masterful, if he did say so himself. She knelt beneath a full moon, an acorn cupped in her hand, her auburn hair glinting. Letting his imagination run wild, he'd dressed her not in the LEP uniform with which he was so familiar, but in a fantastical dress, something straight out of Lord of the Rings. The moon silhouetted her willowy form without actually revealing anything scandalous. Her silhouette he was familiar with. Those LEP uniforms were rather form-fitting, after all. Artemis had never seen Holly in a dress, didn't even know if she owned one, but was of the opinion that she would look breathtaking in one. He'd already signed it and titled it 'The Ritual.' He carefully attached a note to the easel for the decorator to frame it and hang it in his bedroom once it was dry.

He looked down at the picture he'd painted for Holly and smiled. He knew she'd like this one.

Two hours later it was dry, framed, and boxed, and he was waiting for her on her doorstep. Technically, he wasn't supposed to know where she lived, but he was Artemis Fowl. Hacking into the LEP's personnel files was child's play for him.

She wasn't terribly surprised to see him there. She didn't look entirely pleased, either. "Artemis," she said as she walked through her gate. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," he told her. "I've brought you something. May I come in?"

Holly thought about it for a few seconds and glanced around. Her neighbors were looking at her through their curtains or from their doorways. A few were even standing in their yards, openly gawking. "Alright, yes," she sighed. "Come in. I'm sure that whatever you have to say you don't want the neighbors to hear."

He stood and stepped down so that she could unlock the door and precede him in. "Thank you," he said politely.

Holly's house had not been built with humans in mind. He had to stoop to keep from banging his head on the ceiling. He'd never been here, before, and took a few seconds to look around. It was pretty much exactly how he'd imagined her house would be – impeccably neat and almost painfully Spartan. On the mantle there were pictures of her family and a select few friends and coworkers. He was surprised and pleased to see a picture of himself in the middle.

"When was this taken?" he asked, carefully crossing to the mantle and peering more closely at the photograph.

Holly was in her tiny kitchen, preparing them tea. "Oh," she said, glancing up. "Last year, I think. I got it from my helmet camera."

"I look pensive," he observed.

"That's how you always look," Holly told him. "Please sit down. I feel like you might bumble into my bookshelf and knock everything off my coffee table, the way you're looming."

"I do not bumble or loom," Artemis said, a bit stiffly. Oh-so-carefully he sat on the floor, not trusting any of her fairy furniture to support his weight. It was difficult to look dignified, sitting on the floor, but somehow he nearly managed it.

Holly just smiled at him and brought out the tea. There was even a human-sized mug for him. "I normally use that for soup," she told him as she handed it over.

Artemis placed the boxed painting on her coffee table and accepted the mug. "Thank you." He glanced meaningfully at the box.

"What's the occasion?" Holly asked.

"None in particular," he answered. "I just thought you'd like it. Go on, open it." He fixed his dark blue eyes on her face, eager to see her reaction.

She lifted the lid. "Oh," she breathed. "Oh, Artemis." Her expression went from astonishment, to tender recognition, to a bittersweet joy. She blinked a few times to clear tears from her eyes before they fell. "You painted my parents. This is beautiful. Thank you."

Artemis felt his heart soar, and he grinned at her unabashedly. "I remember seeing a picture or two on your desk. And I've seen their files." No need to elaborate on how, she knew he could access pretty much anything he wanted. "Do you really like it, then?"

Holly nodded. "Absolutely, Arty. I love it." She took it to her mantle and carefully moved aside a few photographs to make room for it. "I'll hang it properly tomorrow," she promised him. She came back to her couch and sat down. "Is that what you've been doing these past few days?" she asked him. "Painting?"

"Yes," Artemis confirmed. "I did this one, and another. It's hanging in my new house."

"Your new house?" Holly asked. "Where is that, then? Spain?" she guessed.

"No, it's here in Haven, actually. Would you like to see it some time?"

Holly almost choked on her tea. "You bought a house in Haven? A human has never lived in Haven. Ever."

"I'm a bit different, aren't I, though?" he asked with another little smile. "Hero of the People, the great Artemis Fowl II. I have travelled in time, come back from the dead, stolen magic, and escaped the clutches of a giant squid. I've defeated mad men and out-smarted megalomaniacal fairies. I have saved the world more than once." He grinned wolfishly at her. "Besides, I'm quite fabulously rich, you know. Even the Council can't object to the outrageous price I paid. It didn't hurt that no one else wanted it."

Holly was chuckling almost silently as he went on. "You think you're so impressive," she teased. "But why didn't anyone else want the house?"

"It used to belong to Opal Koboi," he informed her casually.

Holly's gaze sharpened. "I see," she said flatly.

"It was neatly gutted when she killed herself. Nothing of any use or much value remained, never fear. It's being completely renovated as we speak. It should be done in about three and half weeks. I'd like you to see it, Holly."

Finally she nodded. "Yes, alright. If only to sweep for booby traps."

Artemis lifted his tea to his mouth and sipped. He was quite happy with how this had worked out. She had been impressed and touched by his gift, had invited him in to her home, and agreed to visit his.

Things were going according to plan.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note:** This chapter gets a little spicy, but I did try to keep it tasteful. As always, reviews are love! Please let me know if you enjoyed my story so far. It's not over yet, there is more to come. Actual adventure and honest-to-goodness plot, even!

A month later, his house was completed, and Artemis invited Holly over for a look around. When she stepped through the door he couldn't stop staring.

"Are you waiting for a swear toad to hop in?" she asked pertly.

He shut the door. "Forgive me," he said at once. "I'm just… not used to seeing you out of uniform. You look… very beautiful."

Holly blinked up at him a couple of times and her cheeks darkened. "Thanks," she said awkwardly. She plucked at her loose trousers for a second or two. They were cream-colored ankle-length and when she stood still it almost looked like she wore a slim skirt. Over that she wore a matching sweater that fell to her hips. "I was going for comfortable," she added, just in case he was getting any ideas.

"Of course," Artemis said smoothly. "But the two aren't mutually exclusive, are they?" He, of course, was wearing what he always wore, a suit, with a dark gold tie that somehow managed to gleam sienna in the shadows and spring green on the highlights. His pocket square matched.

"Nice tie," Holly commented. "New?"

"Yes," Artemis confirmed, rather pleased that she'd noticed. "The color is called hazel. I couldn't resist."

"How about that tour?" Holly asked.

They spent the next fifteen minutes going through his house. There were two stories, with a total of five bedrooms, three washrooms, a living room, a formal dining room, a breakfast nook, a laboratory, an office stuffed with computers, an art studio, a small parlor with a piano, and a very tiny ballroom. "It isn't much," Artemis admitted as they made their way back toward the public rooms of the house. "Not compared to Fowl Manor. But I wanted to make it comfortable for my fairy friends to visit me."

"Thus the guest bedroom fit for a centaur or two," Holly said. "Is this your room?" She pointed to the only door they hadn't actually gone through, yet. "Can I see it?"

Artemis paused for just a moment, and then nodded. "Yes, by all means," he told her. Then he stepped forward and opened the double doors for her. Everything in this room was, of course, sized for him, from the four-poster bed to the settee and the dressing table. Holly expected that, as much as she expected the rich woods (from repurposed, environmentally friendly sources) and the lush carpets and the tasteful sculptures. What she did not expect was her own face.

Prominently displayed was the painting Artemis had completed at the same time as the portrait of her parents. There she was, performing the Ritual under the full moon. That image could be easily seen from the bed, and she had no doubt that it was the last thing he saw before he went to sleep, and the first thing he saw when he awoke. Holly's stomach fluttered. She looked over at him, where he stood propping the door open, watching her. She didn't know what to say about the painting. It was beautiful and flattering and the realization that this was how he saw her, as a creature of beauty and grace and power, somehow terrified her. She clasped her hands nervously in front of her. "You said something about a dojo?" she asked.

Artemis smiled almost sadly at her for a second, but then put away the sadness and nodded. "Yes, this way," he said, leaving her room to exit.

She was impressed with the dojo, and with the range of weapons he hand on hand. "Ooh, I would love to train here," Holly told him, examining a small fencing sword that fit perfectly in her hand.

"You're welcome to any time," Artemis told her. "I know you're _far_more skilled than I am, but perhaps we can even train together, from time to time?"

"Sure," Holly drawled. "I'll try not to damage you too much."

They shared a laugh, and then Artemis led her back to the dining room where they had sandwiches. "Don't worry, I didn't make them myself," he assured her. "I ordered them from a nearby deli. Maybe got them." Maybe was Artemis's pixie driver in Haven, recommended to him by Doo Da Day.

"Oh, I can tell," Holly laughed. His cooking skills were worse than his fighting skills, and that was saying something. She tucked in, not wasting too much time speaking while she ate, and Artemis followed suit. He watched, her, though, intent on the emotions that whisked across her face. She caught his gaze a few times, and once she was done eating she delicately wiped her lips with her napkin. "Artemis, we have to talk," she said slowly.

He was prepared for this. Whatever argument she came up with, he'd surely already thought of a logical reason why it wasn't a good enough reason to prevent them from being together. The only answer he was prepared to accept, in the long run, was either 'Yes,' or 'I simply don't love you, Artemis, and I never will, so stop trying to woo me if you want me in your life.' He reached across the table and gently captured one of her hands in his. "Go on," he said softly. "What is it, Holly?"

"Look, Artemis, I'm not blind. I know what you're trying to do. I know what you think you feel. I know what you want from me." She looked down at their hands and started to tug hers out of his grip, but he held on. So she placed her other hand on top and patted it. "But I also know what I want, and…"

In that pause, Artemis asked a question almost before he could think about it. "Is there someone else? Are you in love with some elf I don't know about?"

"No," Holly said quickly. "No, it's not that." She winced at his sigh of relief. "Artemis, what I want, someday, is children of my own. Not right now, or anything. Not for a while. I've still got professional goals to meet, first. Things to do." She gave him a helpless look. "I just… I don't see how you can ever give me that, and it's not something I'm willing to give up."

Artemis' mind raced. Children. Of course. That would be the one thing he couldn't do for her. Unless… "Wait," he told her. "That's no reason for us not to be together. You can have children, I'd never dream of stopping you. There's always adoption. Or – or artificial… insemination," he ground out. "There is even the chance that with the right science or magic, someday I could give you children. Can you imagine it, Holly? Little ones with your looks and instincts and bravery, and my intelligence?"

Holly gaped at him. "It's never been done," she said. "Never ever." She shook her head a bit, dazed by the very idea of a human-elf hybrid. "It's preposterous."

"Unconventional, perhaps," Artemis countered. "And ground-breaking, certainly. But you and I break new ground all the time, and when have either of us ever paid much attention to convention?" He slid out of his seat and knelt before her, pulled her hand to his chest and laid it there. Even through his undershirt, button-down shirt, and silk tie, she could feel the heat of his skin and the thump of his heartbeat. "Holly, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that you never enjoyed that kiss, that you've never wondered what it would be like to kiss me again." He swayed forward, stopping just a centimeter from her lips. "I can make you happy," he whispered. "Please let me try."

Holly's own heart thundered. What he said was true. It was mad and terrifying, but true. She had wondered what it would be like. And he was right there, and he smelled so good, and he was so warm. And it was Artemis, her dearest friend, the one she trusted above all others. Of all the people in the world, fairy or human, he was the one she'd die for, kill for, break the laws of man and fairies and magic and physics for.

He was so compelling. She swayed toward him, just enough, and touched her lips to his.

Artemis made a sound at the contact, part triumphant cry, part impassioned moan. He was eighteen, and he was kissing the woman he loved. The rest of the world didn't exist for him at the moment. All he knew was the feel of her lips, the softness of her cheek, the silky texture of her short hair, and the warmth of her arms as they twined around his neck.

Holly felt like she was flying, even though some small part of her mind knew perfectly well that she was sitting in a chair in Artemis' dining room. Her stomach swooped and fluttered, and every nerve ending tingled to life. Warmth suffused her and pooled inside of her in a slow, coiling, golden knot.

When Holly pulled back to pant for breath, Artemis simply slid his lips down to her chin and followed the delicate line of her jaw to her earlobe. He discovered that kissing her there made her shudder and arch into him, and liking the result, he repeated the action. When he licked the smooth brown column of her neck she mewled like a kitten, which he immensely enjoyed as well. He might have commented on it, but his tongue was occupied in tasting the crook of her shoulder, and he concluded that it was probably the most wonderful thing he'd ever done.

Holly was going absolutely insane. He was driving her insane. _Well,_ she thought. _Two can play at this game_. She slid her fingers into his black hair and suddenly grabbed fistfuls. With that handhold, she yanked his head back and brought her lips to his again. He didn't seem like he objected to the control she'd taken of the situation at all. After a time, Holly started kissing other parts of him. His eyelids, the tip of his nose, his chin, his cheeks. She kissed her way to his ear, and sucked it into her mouth, nibbling ever-so-gently.

"Holly," he gasped.

She liked the sound of that, so she nibbled a bit more, and dragged her fingers down his neck, tickling, teasing, caressing. Then she released his earlobe and kissed his neck. "Artemis," she murmured, not even recognizing her own voice, filled as it was with unexplored passion. "I _do_love you."

He dragged her from the chair and crushed her to him. He sealed his lips to her own and arched toward her once, twice, three times. He shuddered and gasped desperately, arched again, and held himself there, trembling, panting against her, red-faced and sweaty.

For a long moment there was total silence in the room while he recovered. Holly knew what had just happened. The realization sent a thrill of power through her, that she could reduce the great Artemis Fowl to a quivering mess of passion through her kisses alone, and the confession of her love. She kissed his neck again, since that's what she could reach, and languidly dragged her fingers through his hair. They were both still fully clothed. His tie wasn't even loose. "D'arvit, I'm good," she purred into his ear.

For a second he stiffened in shock, and then he laughed helplessly. "You are, darling. You _are_." Gently, he let her get her footing and pulled back a little, only to frame her face in his hands. "You're everything good and pure and true in the world, Holly Short. You _fixed_me, made me into the man I am. And I love you beyond all reason."

The smiled at each other like drunken fools for a bit, and then Artemis looked her over curiously. "You didn't – I mean, do you want me to – I could –"

When Holly realized what he was offering to do she blushed again, but shook her head. "Er, no. Thank you, but no. Um… I didn't come here expecting to kiss you, or – or for any of this to happen." He nodded and smiled, more than a little smug. "This is… unexpected. Slightly terrifying. I don't know really what I'm doing."

"Neither do I," Artemis told her, still grinning.

"I think we should slow down. We have… so much time." She smoothed some of his hair back from his forehead. "Alright?"

"Of course," Artemis told her. "I certainly would never… you deserve better than the dining room, Holly. You deserve more than kisses and –" he cut himself off, grinning a little, slightly embarrassed at his utter lack of control. "I just want to be with you, in any way you'll have me. You lead, and I'll follow."

Holly kissed him gently on the lips again. "Alright," she agreed.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day Commander Kelp summoned Holly into his office. He very carefully put down a folder in front of her and sat down. He propped his arms on his desk and laced his fingers together and simply stared silently at her.

"What's this?" Holly asked. Kelp simply nodded at it, his mouth firmly closed, so Holly opened it. Inside were photographs of herself and Artemis in his dining room. Kissing, that heated embrace, smiling into each other's eyes. Holly felt the blood drain out of her face. "What _is_this?" she asked again, outraged.

"Did you think we _weren't_going to surveille his house?" Kelp asked quietly. "Sit down, Holly."

Holly sat, still clutching the folder of photographs. From their angle, she guessed the camera was mounted to his ceiling somewhere, probably in the little chandelier over the table. Anger was making every muscle in her body tense and her eyes flashed.

Kelp continued. "Now… I like you Holly. I consider you my friend. I even consider this Mud Man my friend. Artemis Fowl has without a doubt saved the world more than once. He's come a long way in just a decade. But none of that is going to matter to most people who see this."

"Who else has seen this?" Holly demanded. "This is _private_. It's nobody's business!"

"The surveillance team," Kelp answered. "Three others. I won't tell you who, I don't want to compromise the operation. I technically shouldn't even have shown this to you, but… you are my friend, as well as an outstanding officer. They won't pass this around, Holly. But I can tell you, this didn't go over well with them. Just like it won't for most people. An elf and a Mud Man." Kelp was hard-pressed not to shudder with disgust. "It's not natural."

"It doesn't affect anyone else," Holly said through gritted teeth. "It shouldn't matter if we want to be together. It shouldn't matter if we – if we wanted to get married, even!"

"Married?" Kelp asked. "To a Mud Man? But what's the point of that? You can't have children together. And anyway he'll be dead in seventy or eighty years or so. He'll be old long before that. Is that what you want? Attending an old man for a few decades, only to have him die before your eyes."

Holly clenched her fists, crumpling the folder and its contents. Yesterday morning she didn't think she'd be defending her relationship with Artemis, mostly because she didn't think it would ever go beyond friendship. However, he'd convinced her to give it a try, and she wasn't about to be scared off by other people's opinions of her private life. She knew that sooner or later others would learn of Artemis' extended existence. There really was no way to hide it. And Kelp really was their friend. It seemed like now was as good a time as any to tell him. "Is this off the record?" she asked him.

Kelp hesitated, but then nodded. "It is. Like I said, I didn't want this getting around."

"Then sir, in all confidentiality… Artemis came back changed. It wasn't just an extra toe." Holly watched as Kelp tensed up, but to his credit he waited for her to finish. "There was something done to his genes by the chrysalis. These little bits on the end, er, telomeres. They don't act like they should, any more. He'll live at least another thousand years, barring accident or illness or assassination."

Kelp let out a long, slow breath. "Holly," he said. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Foaly and Artemis both seemed certain, though neither of them know how it happened. It wasn't Foaly, certainly." She watched Kelp absorb that for a few more moments. "Sir… I know you came to me out of concern. But you don't have to worried. He would never hurt me. He loves me. And – and I love him. That's all that should matter. And to Hell with anyone who thinks otherwise." She stood up, still clutching the folder in her hands. "I'm taking this with me."

Kelp nodded, still absorbing what she'd told him. "Dismissed," he said gruffly.

Holly left and immediately dialed Artemis. "We need to talk," she told him. "In your parent's house. Meet me at the transport station as soon as possible."

There was a tiny pause while Artemis processed her request. "I'm leaving right now," he assured her.

They didn't say more than two words to each other while she piloted them to the surface, and it wasn't until they were in his office where she was reasonably certain they had privacy, that she handed over the folder.

"Do you know who it is?" he asked, cutting straight to the point.

"Kelp," Holly answered.

A flash of surprise crossed his face. "They still don't trust me, after everything I've done?" There was hurt in his voice, and Holly crossed over to him. She rested a hand on his knee and touched his hand. Artemis stared at her for a second and then almost shyly settled his hands on her hips. "I think I need a hug," he whispered, and he tugged a little.

Blushing, Holly half-climbed onto his lap with his assistance, not that she needed it, and settled there. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he covered her back with his hands and pressed her close to him. "There are probably other cameras," he said into her shoulder. "I'm not very pleased that I missed it. I'll have to ask Foaly for help, there must be some new LEP tech I can't detect."

"Contrary to what he'd like to believe, Foaly isn't actually the _only_engineer the LEP contracts out to," Holly pointed out. "But between the two of you, you'll figure it out, I'm sure." She took a deep breath and pulled back to look at him. "There's more." He nodded, silently encouraging her to continue. "Kelp was slightly less than accepting of our relationship. And he told me that the team of three who brought these photos to him were –" she stopped.

"They were disgusted," Artemis finished. "Unsettled."

Holly nodded, frowning. "Artemis, once word of this – of our relationship – gets out, there's going to be a lot of that. We have to prepare ourselves for it."

"Yes," he agreed. He reached up to touch her hair, smoothing some of it down and tucking a bit behind her ear, his touch tender. "Was there anything else?"

"I told Kelp about your telomeres," Holly said. "Confidentially."

Artemis let his fingers trace the point of her ear and slide slowly along her jaw. He lifted her chin and pressed a sweet, lingering kiss to her lips. "I love you, Holly," he whispered. "If this is too hard for you, if you think that you can't face it, I – I understand. I don't want to hurt you, ever. I won't be that selfish, any more."

"I'm not breaking up with you because of anyone else's opinion," Holly told him fiercely. "I made my choice last night, and I'll stand by it."

"Are you certain?"

Holly leaned forward and kissed him. "Yes, and don't you forget it. Now, shut up, Mud Man, and kiss me senseless, already."

Artemis was only too happy to comply.

**Author's note:** Please review! I want to know if anyone else out there likes this or if I'm only writing for myself. Am I doing alright? Do you want more? Also, feel free to point out typos, if you see them, as I have no beta. *cough*hint*cough* More story coming soon.


	7. Chapter 7

There was certainly something to be said for kissing a girl senseless, Artemis reflected later that night after Holly had gone back to Haven. He couldn't remember having a more pleasant time, though he was understandably eager to do more than just kissing. If yesterday's accidental, er, enthusiasm were any indication, things could only improve between them. The thought left him breathless for a few moments and he had to plant his hands on the counter to brace himself.

He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. "Slow down, Fowl," he chided his reflection. "Let her lead. If it takes another ten years, then you'll wait another ten years. You do have plenty of time. Don't rush."

He reached for his toothbrush and began the task of cleaning his teeth while he pondered all that she had revealed. Commander Kelp and the rest of the LEP still mistrusted him, after all he'd done for them. That stung, he had to admit it. But for now he put his feelings aside and analyzed. He was the only human being ever to have lived in Haven in its entire 10,000 year history. For that entire time, the People had only seen the worst of humanity – wars, moral degradation, evil, hatred, and fear. He weighed one hundred centuries of history against a mere decade of their association with him, which admittedly had a rocky start, and he supposed he couldn't really blame them for their paranoia.

Also, he would have to make a note that the contractors he'd hired were obviously not entirely trustworthy. That's why as soon as Holly had left he'd taken the time to hack the company's systems and wipe their databases clean. And tomorrow he'd see about getting rid of the hard-copies they would have stashed somewhere in their offices. He knew just the dwarf for the job, too. He finished brushing his teeth and rinsed out his mouth, and then reached for his facial cleanser.

One thing the chrysalis had not done, apparently, was give him perfect skin, so Artemis was careful every night and morning to follow this little cleansing ritual. It would not do to get spots, which were simply an unsightly reminder of his biological youth. He'd been almost surprised when, during their argument the other day, Foaly hadn't pointed at that technically, Artemis wasn't eighteen or twenty-one, but only three and a half – his body, at any rate.

Kelp knew about his extended lifespan. He had planned to tell the LEP Commander all about it, true, but perhaps not quite this soon. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak, and now Artemis considered whether this could be good or bad.

It depended on whether or not Kelp believed that neither Foaly nor Artemis understood how his telomeres had been altered by Opal Koboi's chrysalis. Their best hypothesis, and an untestable one now that the chrysalis was destroyed, was that the machine itself had been programmed to do it by Opal herself. Perhaps she, too, had seen the potential of a clone. Perhaps Nopal had been her last backup, after all. No one would put it past the pixie to deliberately extend her natural lifespan. Artemis shuddered at the thought of an immortal Opal Koboi.

If Kelp believed them, then after a brief uproar, he and the rest of the Council would adjust, and tweak their plans for observation accordingly. Perhaps in another few decades or a hundred years or so, they'd learn to trust him, after all. Artemis could only hope so. It would be a lot easier to get things done if he had their blessing and active assistance, instead of having to fight and cajole them and have his friends defy orders, every time the world needed saving.

If Kelp did not believe them, there would be an investigation, more surveillance, and perhaps legal repercussions of some kind. Artemis had plans to apply for citizenship as one of the People. His fairy lawyer, a centaur named Brigliadoro, of excellent reputation, had been intrigued by the idea. All citizens so far had been born into it, fairies one and all. Artemis would be the first human to be granted the rights and duties of one of the People, if only they could figure out a way to get it done. Accusations of ill-gotten longevity would not look very good on his application, to say the least.

Artemis patted his face dry and examined himself in the mirror rather critically. "You are not someone who is naturally lovable," he said to his reflection. "You are aloof and far too intelligent to make most people comfortable. And sometimes you talk to yourself in the mirror, which doesn't exactly set them at ease." He scowled and paced into his bedroom.

An enormous presence loomed near the doorway. Before Artemis had time to jump, the lights flickered on. It was Butler. "You startled me," said Artemis.

"I'm sorry," Butler rumbled. "Just doing a last-minute sweep before bedtime. Who were you talking to?"

"Only myself," Artemis replied. "I'm considering how to become more popular with the People." At Butler's raised eyebrows, the young man couldn't help but smile, more than a little smug. "Holly has agreed to being courted by me," he explained. He sat on the edge of the bed and opened the drawer on his nightstand. Therein lay a small photograph of the auburn-haired elf, which he took out and examined. "Our romance isn't going to be very popular. Perhaps if I somehow portray myself in a positive light, and get the fairies to accept me, they'll be more inclined to accept our love. The last thing I want is to cause Holly any pain."

Butler considered this for a moment. "Congratulations," he finally said. "And good luck. Maybe you should make a movie."

"A movie?" Artemis asked.

"Yes. About your adventures. Animated, perhaps. There would have to be some changes here and there, but… if people watch your story, they might like you better. There is historical precedent. More than one king has gained his people's favor through plays."

"A movie," Artemis repeated, and this time he sounded rather thoughtful. Butler recognized that look in his employer's eye, and smiled. He left quietly and closed the door behind him, leaving Artemis Fowl to do what he did best – plot.

Artemis turned off the lights and climbed into bed, putting the idea of an animated film in the back of his mind to percolate.

The last thought on his mind before he fell asleep was Holly's face in the sunlight, smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

Mulch Diggums was a hero, and he had the medal to prove it. He was known pretty well throughout Haven and Atlantis, and he thoroughly enjoyed the fame and adulation. No less than two dwarf bars wouldn't take his money, and his business had been booming ever since. Half the time a criminal recognized him and simply gave himself up, unwilling to face Mulch the Troll Rider, Hero of the People. Also, he'd been on more dates than he cared to count. Particularly with one particular she-dwarf, an enchanting creature named Amethyst Beamgem. Amy was very much on his mind, lately, and he was beginning to wonder if he should ask her to be his steady girlfriend. Perhaps if things went really well, in a few years he'd even propose.

Mulch snorted at the thought and patted his stomach. "No need to get ahead of yourself," he said, talking to himself. "There is plenty of time for all of that, just go with the flow, as they say."

"If anything is going to be flowing from you, please give me warning, so I can evacuate the area," came a voice that the dwarf knew very well.

Mulch turned around and beamed at his visitor. "Well, little Arty. What could possibly bring you to my modest little establishment?" Modest was not really the word. State of the art would be more like it. "Have you come to invite me to see your new house?"

"As a matter of fact, I have," said Artemis, taking a seat in front of Mulch's enormous dark wood desk. "I'm betting you already know the address?"

"Indeed I do," Mulch affirmed. "It's hardly a secret, a Mud Man buying a house in Haven. Half the city's buzzing with the news. They say you have gold tiles in your shower, and ruby countertops in the kitchen."

"Hardly," Artemis said drily. "Yellow marble and red granite, to be more precise."

"Sounds colorful," Mulch said a bit dubiously.

"Tastefully so, I assure you," Artemis said loftily.

"Of course, of course. What time?"

"Tonight, eight o'clock," Artemis told him. He withdrew a slender envelope from his coat pocket and passed it across the desk to the dwarf. "Here are some directions, in case you need them."

Mulch glanced down at the paperwork and read the hand-written words. "I see," he said slowly. There were no directions to Artemis' house. Rather, the paper bore a request for Mulch to break into the construction company which had built his house and steal the blueprints. "Doesn't look like it'll be too much trouble, Arty," he said, crumpling up the paper and eating it. Quality graphite, delicious. He casually nodded at a price list on the desk and Artemis barely glanced at it before nodding. "You won't be cooking, I hope?"

"No, I shall not," Artemis promised.

"You have a fair few talents, I'll admit it, but cooking is _not_one of them," Mulch continued.

"Agreed," Artemis said, and he grinned a bit. "I'll see you tonight, then."

In fact, it was Butler who made them dinner that night. He was becoming quite the expert in vegetarian cuisine, mostly because Artemis had decided to eat that way after coming back from the dead. He felt that after having been dead, it was unsettling at best to cause the death of another creature when there was no actual need.

While Butler had been busy cooking, Artemis had been debugging his house. There was a small crystal bowl on the dining room table filled with them, and just for fun Artemis had arranged them in an artistic fashion and placed the bowl directly under the last spy camera located in the crystal chandelier.

The first to arrive was Holly, in deep blue trousers and boat-necked blouse, and then Foaly and Caballine, both in white shirts, were there almost before Artemis had time to kiss her hello. Mulch had taken the time to clean his fingernails, and bore a fancy-looking long tube. "I brought wine," he announced, handing it over to Butler.

The massive body-guard opened up the container and found wine of dubious quality, as well as blueprints wrapped around the bottles. He pulled out one bottle and eyed the label. "I'll just… put this in the wine cabinet," he said, and left the room. The blueprints would be taken care of.

"What's all this?" Holly asked, looking at the crystal bowl filled with tiny cameras.

"Ah. I've been being spied upon." Artemis answered her. Of course she knew that, but they had to play their little scene out to keep Kelp from getting into trouble. "I'm fairly certain I got them all, thanks to this new sweeper Foaly asked me to test for him. You wouldn't believe the places I found them."

"The Bug-Zapper," Foaly said fondly, picking up one of the cameras and examining it. "Prototype. It needed a field test before I could pitch it to the higher-ups."

"Oh, really?" Caballine asked, crossing her arms and eying Artemis and her husband with playful suspicion. "A field test?"

"Really, my love, I swear." Foaly grinned at her, all innocence.

"There's one left," Artemis said. He lifted his head to look up at the chandelier, and the others followed suit. Holly's expression was hardened and unhappy as she tried to spy the spy-camera.

"Allow me," Foaly offered. With the help of the Bug Zapper he found the particular crystal in question and carefully removed it. "Nice," he commented. "But not quite nice enough, is it? Not to mention slightly illegal to monitor a man who hasn't done anything wrong. Recently. And who has, in fact, saved the world more than once, not too long ago. _Terrible_, how paranoid some people can get." Coming from Foaly, that was saying something. That was the last thing it transmitted before the connection was cut. Artemis was only just able to stop himself from asking the centaur stallion about his infamous tinfoil hat, which he hadn't actually worn in years.

After dinner, dessert, and the grand tour, everyone settled in the living room to catch up. They all noticed when Holly chose to sit very close to Artemis, and they joined hands. "There's something we'd like to tell you," said the elf.

A heavy silence fell over the little group. Caballine glanced at Foaly. Mulch picked his teeth. Butler skulked in the background, occasionally peeking out the windows as he checked the perimeter, using the Bug-Zapper just in case Artemis had missed something.

"You all know that Artemis and I are friends," Holly began. "Best friends. I've save his life, he's saved mine. We've been through a lot together." Everyone nodded slowly. "So, we're… together, now. And we hope that you'll support us, because we know this decision won't sit right with some people."

"Some people are idiots," Caballine snorted. She shot her husband a look, and Foaly coughed uncomfortably into his hand. "Love is love, and you two are beautiful together."

Mulch grunted. "I don't see what all the fuss is about," he opined. "If Holly wants the Mud Man, why shouldn't she have him? Pity that you're only going to be around for a few more decades, though. Arty. I'm not looking forward to the day when you're not around to spice things up for me. Life will be awfully dull."

"That brings us nicely to our next bit of news, Mulch," Artemis said. "Somehow, during the cloning process, Opal Koboi's chrysalis meddled with my genome. Besides the extra toe, my lifespan has been greatly extended. If I'm not assassinated, mortally injured somehow, or infected with a fatal disease, I may outlive you."

"_D'arvit_," Mulch breathed. "Anything else? Wings, perhaps? A touch of magic? Megalomaniacal impulses to rule the world?"

Artemis chuckled. "No, nothing else that we've discovered, so far, my friend. But I'm monitoring myself constantly. Hopefully there will be no more surprises."


	9. Chapter 9

When Mulch and the centaurs had gone home, Butler excused himself from the living room, leaving Artemis alone with Holly. It didn't take a genius to understand that the two of them wanted some quality time together.

Artemis told her about Butler's movie idea, and showed her some character designs he'd sketched out, and a rough draft of the first act. "What do you think?" he asked her. "Could it work?"

Holly studied her character design, one eye squinted half-shut. "It might," she conceded. "You certainly didn't glaze over the truth very much, did you?"

"No," Artemis agreed. "I was a very unpleasant child. No wonder you hated me. I feel that the story explains why I was so… obnoxious, but I don't want that to be an excuse. There _isn't_an excuse for how I acted." He sighed a bit and looked at her. He was currently sitting on the floor while she perched on the low couch. This brought them almost to eye-level. "Perhaps if they see how I've changed…"

"Artemis," Holly said gently. "I do understand. You love your father. Love makes everything else seem inconsequential." She watched his eyes widen. "I'm so proud of you, that you've come to love other people besides your family. In a way you've come to love the world. You've proven that beyond a doubt." She touched his cheek gently. "I admit though, I'm overwhelmed at the thought of you loving _me_that much. You're a force to be reckoned with." She smiled at his thoughtful expression. "The movie is worth a shot," Holly finally said. She ran her fingers through his hair, tousling it out its carefully swept-back 'do. "After all, if the woman you kidnapped can learn to forgive you, come to like you and respect you, and even grow to love you, why shouldn't everyone else?"

Artemis enjoyed the thrills her fingers sent cascading down his spine, and looked at her. "I don't care if everyone else loves me. I just care that they accept your love for me. And mine for you, of course." He slipped his hand behind her neck and gently tugged her forward so he could kiss her.

From there, things got interesting. Somehow they both ended up on the couch, laying down on their sides and kissing, with Holly sandwiched between himself and the silk-upholstered ergonomically correct back support cushions. Artemis was excruciatingly careful to keep his hands on her head, neck, shoulders, and arms, with occasional forays across her back. He wanted to touch her everywhere, all at once, preferably without any clothes in the way. But she wanted to go slowly, she wanted to limit this to kisses, and he would respect that, even if it was slowly killing him. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

She slipped her tiny hands under his jacket, smoothing out the wrinkles on his dress shirt. Taking this as encouragement, Artemis nearly sprained his arm to get the item of clothing off of his person as quickly as possible. He barely had the presence of mind to drape it across the coffee table instead of letting it just fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. Holly grinned at him, mischief in her mismatched eyes. "You're so _eager_," she murmured.

"Can you blame me?" he asked back, just as quietly. He rained kisses down the column of her neck to make her sigh. "I have the most beautiful woman in the world in my arms right now. It's either eager or comatose, honestly."

She giggled, and slid her fingers over his shoulders and down his arms. "I'm not that beautiful," she protested.

"You are," Artemis assured her. "From the top of your ginger head to the tips of your tiny toes. Absolutely perfect, my darling." He nuzzled her ear. "Isn't what happened in the dining room proof enough?" he whispered. "I'm this close to embarrassing myself again."

"Oh, really?" she asked, her tone teasing. "Perhaps we'd better st -" But Holly didn't get to finish because Artemis simply kissed her again. He was clearly willing to go on. And they would have, if Butler hadn't interrupted.

"Ahem."

Artemis and Holly froze mid-kiss and locked eyes. Butler cleared his throat again. Artemis pulled away and peered backward over his shoulder. Despite the fact that Holly was still fully dressed, for some reason he felt it important to shield her from his bodyguard. "Yes?" Artemis asked. He couldn't help the way it sounded, rather thoroughly put out.

"Artemis, I'm truly sorry to interrupt, but your mother is on the phone."

"My mother?" Artemis repeated.

"On the phone."

Artemis didn't feel like talking to his mother at that moment. His mother was the absolute last person on Earth or under it that he wanted to even think about. "Is it important?" he asked, frustrated with the way his voice broke.

"It's your _mother_, Artemis." Butler was slightly affronted by the question, obviously.

Holly gave Artemis a rather sympathetic look and patted his cheek. Then she sat up and began to push her hair into place. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips plumped by kisses. She was positively glowing, if not actually luminescent. Butler studiously refused to notice. "He'll take it in a couple of minutes," she told the bodyguard. "Stall her until then, please."

Butler nodded and beat a hasty retreat.

Artemis groaned and sat up. For several seconds he rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands. Holly ran her hand up and down his back, trying to soothe him. He shivered and finally looked up to smile at her. "I suppose we had to stop sooner or later," he said wistfully. "I'll ask Maybe to drive you home, alright?"

Holly nodded and smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"More than likely," Artemis told her. He kissed her once more. "Sweet dreams."

As it turned out, Artemis was wrong. He didn't see Holly the next day, or the day after that.


	10. Chapter 10

Angeline was calling to remind Artemis to attend his brother's school play the next day. He made a promise to be there on time and kept his word. As he walked toward the manor in the late morning, he could hear farmers on the land working the fields. They couldn't make out the house from where they were supposed to be, but he hurried inside all the same. His presence was explained away, whenever necessary, as him being his own second cousin, Arthur Fowl, visiting from France. Still, no need to flaunt his presence.

The play went swimmingly, and Miles and Becket did their parts very well. At Intermission his parents caught him glancing at his watch so often that finally Artemis, Sr. had to ask. "Arty, what's so important? Where do you have to be?"

"Sorry, Dad," Artemis murmured. "It's just that I promised Holly I'd see her today." A smile flickered across his face at the thought of the LEP officer.

Angeline reached out to grab her husband's arm. "Oh, help me, it's finally happened," she gasped, fanning her face and looking distressed.

Artemis was instantly alarmed. "Mum, what is it? Are you ill?"

"No, I'm not _ill_, Arty, for heaven's sake." She gave him a stern look. "I was just overcome by the sudden realization that you've fallen in love. With an elf, no less."

Artemis, Sr. stared between his wife and his son, who only turned red and offered no denial. "Oh," he finally said. "Oh, well, I… hrm. That's rather complicated, isn't it?" He folded his arms around his wife and patted her back. "Isn't she quite a bit older than you, son?"

"Yes," Artemis said, seeing no point in denying it. "Not that it matters, as I'll live at least another thousand years. What's seventy years against that?" They simply stared at him. "Are the twins done with their part?" he finally asked, just to break the silence. "I'd like to hug them and go back to her. Besides that I have a bit of business to get to."

Ten minutes later Artemis slid into the limousine. "Butler," he said. "I'd like to go back to Haven, now." A faint hissing noise made him look up from his phone. Almost immediately he started to feel unconsciousness gripping him, and he made a desperate attempt to reach the door to escape the gas that was being pumped into the compartment. The door was locked.

"He can't help you," said a voice, and then blackness descended. Artemis had just enough time to worry for his old friend.

In fact, Butler was fine. Five minutes earlier he had seen what appeared to be his primary leaving the school theatre and walking down the sidewalk, speaking on his phone. He'd followed, half-listening in on the conversation. It looked like Artemis, it sounded like Artemis. He only realized it wasn't Artemis when it turned around and looked at him. "That was easier than we thought it would be," said the doppelganger. And behind him, the limo started up and pulled away. Butler glanced at it, turned back to Artemis, and saw in his place a tall elf in sunglasses and a hat that covered his pointed ears.

Butler lunged for the elf and missed him by millimeters. The elf had a pair of wings which he put to good use even as he shimmered into invisibility. Gone. Butler wasted no more time on the distraction, but turned and ran back to the theatre. As he went he dragged his phone out of his pocket and dialed up Holly Short.

"Holly," Butler said, as soon as she answered. "Artemis has been taken." He ignored her gasp and kept talking. "An elf is involved, he had wings and a good shield. About one hundred twenty centimeters high. Skin a couple shades darker than yours, dark blonde hair. I couldn't see his eyes. He used some kind of hologram to distract me."

"I'm on it," Holly said, and Butler snapped the phone closed and kept running.

In the LEP Headquarters, Holly Short didn't give herself time to feel anything. She ran straight for Kelp's office and burst through the door. "Commander," she gasped.

Kelp put down his phone and stood up. He looked grim. "I know," he said. "Artemis Fowl has been kidnapped. I just got a call from an organization claiming credit. They call themselves P.A.I.R., People Against Interspecies Romance." He came around his desk. "Short, I know what you're gonna say, but you're off of this case. You're too close."

"Trouble," Holly protested. "There is no way you can keep me off this case. This is _Artemis_we're talking about!"

Trouble grabbed Holly's shoulders, and when she shrugged him off he grabbed them again and gave her a little shake. "I know who it is," he growled. "And I know how close you are to each other, Holly; so do these lunatics. That's _why_they kidnapped him."

Holly stared at him. "What?" she breathed. "But how?"

"They got a hold of those surveillance photographs, somehow," Trouble Kelp told her, at the same moment that she guessed the truth.

"It's an inside job, then," she said. "_D'arvit_."

"The thought had occurred to me," Trouble admitted. "You are _off_the case. I'm assigning someone to guard you full-time until we get this straightened out. You're to stay with a friend. Do not go home alone. Do not wander around alone. Am I clear?"

"I'm not just going to stand around and twiddle my thumbs while these P.A.I.R. people have Artemis," Holly insisted. "You're going to have to lock me up to keep me from helping." Holly had that look in her eye that Trouble knew well. It was her stubborn look.

For a brief moment Trouble Kelp actually considered locking her up, but then realized he really had no grounds to do so. He ground his teeth. "You have a rather outstanding record of going rogue," he said, half to himself. "So I believe you when you say you're going to help whether we want it or not. Fine, then. I'll just have to keep you close. You're on my team, you follow my orders. You stick with me like stink on a dwarf, do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly clear, Commander," Holly said.

"I'll be your personal bodyguard. _D'arvit_. Let them try to take you on _my_watch."

Holly scowled, and then abruptly looked thoughtful. "Yes," she agreed. "_Yes_. Let them take me."

Trouble eyed her through narrowed slits. "Are you suggesting you'll act as bait for these crazies?"

Holly nodded, and Trouble started to smile. "It could work. With enough precautions, it might work. We'll have to get a plan together. I'm calling in all the Captains for this."


	11. Chapter 11

When Artemis came back to consciousness, he held himself absolutely still, just as Butler had told him to do. First, he took stock of his physical condition. Everything seemed to be intact. He was barefoot. His jacket and tie seemed to be missing. He was hot. Various aches and pains made themselves known to him, bruises and scrapes. Most notable among these pains was the one in his neck, for the simple reason that he was slumped forward and tied to a chair.

He tried to keep his breathing even and quiet while he listened to his surroundings. It was very quiet, wherever he was. There was the faint sound of a light bulb buzzing, and the sound of someone else breathing. He heard the page of a book or a magazine being turned.

"I know you're awake," said a voice. It was the same voice from the limousine. Artemis raised his head and took his first look at his kidnapper, wincing as his neck protested. His kidnapper was an elf, of slightly over average height, with medium build, and nut-brown skin common to the race. He had grey eyes and light brown hair, and a rather handsome face. "You've been out for hours. I was getting bored." Artemis saw that he was reading a magazine, _Better Home and Garden_.

"Whatever you subdued me with was potent," Artemis said, surprised at the rasp in his voice. "May I please have some water?" he asked, trying to be polite. The last thing he wanted to do was give this man any reason whatsoever to hurt him.

"No," said his kidnapper. "We didn't bring you here to feed and water you. You're not a pet."

"Why did you bring me here, then?" Artemis asked. He needed information. Anything he could get to help him figure out a way to escape.

"Well, eventually," said the elf, as if he were discussing rainbows and puppies, "We're going to kill you." He waited for a moment, watching Artemis' face intently. "Does hearing that scare you?"

"Yes, of course it does," said Artemis calmly. It wasn't so much the death threat that frightened him, as it was the word 'eventually,' but he wasn't about to give his kidnapper the satisfaction of seeing him rattled.

"You don't look very scared. You look pensive."

"I've been told that's how I always look," replied the genius. "What shall I call you?"

"Anything you like," the elf told him brightly. "It doesn't really matter if you know my name."

"I'll call you Driver, then," said Artemis. "Why did you kidnap me? What are your plans before you kill me off?"

"Oh, you know," said Driver. "Excruciating pain, torture, that kind of thing." He started to pop his knuckles, one by one, a habit that Artemis detested.

"To what end, might I ask?"

"We're going to make you hate Holly Short," Driver told him, his tone matter-of-fact. "We're going to make you associate her with pain and misery and fear, and then you will betray her. We'll tape it all, of course, and show it to the People. Show them what you really are. A disgusting human bent on corrupting the People with his filthy ways."

Artemis stared at him. The man was mad, obviously. "I see. Why not simply mesmerize me?" he asked calmly.

Driver tilted his head to one side. "Because that's reversible," he told Artemis. "And because I hate you. I hate the fact that you've managed to seduce one of the finest elves in Haven. It's a horrific perversion. Torturing you is my… justice," he said, dropping his voice. "Or revenge, if you like to call it that."

"There's a flaw to your plan," Artemis told Driver.

Driver raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" He sounded amused. "Do tell."

"You will _never_make me hate Holly," Artemis told Driver. "It's simply impossible. And I would rather die than betray her."

"We'll see," smirked Driver, and he pulled on a pair of surgical gloves. "We'll see."

Then there was pain, and Artemis Fowl retreated into his mind.

This was a trick he'd read about, but never until now actually tried to accomplish. He knew he could achieve it, because when he'd been in the grips of the Atlantis Complex, he'd come here, only then it was involuntary.

"Hello," said Orion. Artemis noticed immediately that Orion's eyes were mismatched, as his had been before he'd come back to life in a cloned body.

"Hello," Artemis returned. "I wondered if you'd be here."

"Where else would I go?" asked Orion, puzzled. "I mean, I suppose I could have wandered the manor, but why would I want to do that? Holly's here."

Holly was, indeed, here. She lay sleeping on his couch, covered in a caftan. "Why is Holly here?" Artemis asked his counterpart.

"I don't know," Orion admitted. "But she's been here for a while, just sleeping. I've been watching over her. Sometimes I switch out the pillows, or give her a different blanket. Sometimes I sing to her. I've even tried kissing her, to see if she'll wake up, but alas, my princess slumbers on."

Artemis tried not to grimace at Orion's flourishes. "Hm. I didn't expect anyone else to be here. I wonder what part of my subconscious she represents?"

"I thought it was unrequited love for the longest time," Orion said eagerly. "But ever since she said she loves you, I knew it couldn't be that."

"How long has she been here, exactly?" Artemis asked.

"Oh… a bit after we came back to life," Orion answered after a moment's thought. "Somewhere around the time we got all our memories back, I think. Or at least that's when I showed up. Maybe she's been here longer." He flapped a hand. "A long time. What does it matter, anyway?"

"Information always matters," Artemis lectured. "When applied to the proper context." He wandered over to the viewing wall to look at what was happening to his body.

Orion joined him, and Artemis felt him wince. "A splinter under the toenail, really? Ugh. Barbaric."

"Painful, but minor," Artemis said clinically. "All I have to do is hang on until Holly and the others come for me."

"But… that fair damsel shouldn't put herself in harm's way for us!" Orion protested. "It isn't right! We need to break our chains somehow, or pick the locks or something, and fight our way to freedom on our own!"

"Pick the locks?" Artemis returned. "With what, our fingernails?" He slid his hands into his trousers pockets. "Holly can take care of herself. Butler will be with her, and Foaly and Mulch, probably. Possibly even No.1. This Driver and his associates, if he actually has any, don't know what they're up against."

Orion turned from the gruesome sight of the torture – they were using red-hot needles, now – and swept to the sleep Holly's side. "Perhaps you should try to kiss her," he suggested to Artemis. "It could be that you are her Prince Charming, and not I. Especially since you have actually, somehow, managed to let her allow your courtship."

Artemis sighed and ignored him. Then he commanded his body to stop screaming and writhing, and slump over, as if he'd passed out. He watched as Driver's face turned red in anger at being denied his entertainment. Driver drew back a hand as if to punch him, but then stopped himself at the last minute.

"Enjoy your nap," the elf snarled. "This isn't over, yet."


	12. Chapter 12

Foaly had actually been the first person they'd consulted with, at Holly's insistence. "He's the one person in here who I trust, besides you, not to have been in on this," she had told Trouble.

Foaly had gone all out as soon as they'd told him what was happening. The technician genuinely liked Artemis, and more than that, he respected the human's intellect. "You'll wear an eye-cam, of course," he'd told her. "But more than that, I'm going to equip you with a subcutaneous tracker." He held up an absolutely enormous-looking needle. "Once it's implanted it should be nearly undetectable."

"Nearly?" asked Commander Kelp.

"Well, I do have a device. I have to be able to find them, after all, or what's the point?" Foaly pointed out.

Holly eyed it dubiously. "Just do it quick," she told him. When Foaly injected the rice-grain-sized tracker into the skin of her upper arm, she winced, but didn't complain.

"There you are," said Foaly, looking at a computer monitor. "All vitals. Looks like you're a little deficient in Vitamin D, you should have a supplement or spend an hour in the sun, soon." Holly just eyed him and he went on. "Right, then. Communications device. I haven't tested these yet." He held up yet another enormous needle.

"Really?" Holly asked. "Where does _that_one go?"

"Just here." Foaly pointed to the skin just below his earlobe along his neck. "Picks up even the faintest of whispers, and transmits directly to your ear canal. This one is gonna hurt, Holly, I'm sorry."

Holly simply tilted her head to one side, exposing the side of her neck to him. She actually grunted this time at the injection, and her eyes watered for a second. "You weren't kidding," she told him.

"You should wear a standard throat-mic, too," he said. "Your kidnappers will be expecting tech, so we'll have to give them some to find and take away. We'll get it all back when we raid their stronghold."

Holly rubbed the spot where the subcutaneous microphone was located. "Anything else?" she asked.

"Well, I do have some gas," Foaly said. He picked up a tiny canister. "Four uses. You have to spray it directly in their face. Don't inhale it yourself. It will knock out anyone, even a troll, in a few seconds."

Holly took the canister and slid it into a pocket. "Thank you," she told him.

Then there was the press briefing. The LEP weren't the only ones that PAIR had contacted. Trouble had had to make a public announcement about the situation, wherein he had reminded every viewer that Artemis Fowl had saved Haven and Atlantis, and was a friend and even benefactor to the People. He asked that anyone with information leading to Artemis' safe recovery and/or the apprehension of members of PAIR to please step forward.

After the press conference PAIR had contacted them again. "We want to speak to Holly Short," said the voice on the other end.

"This is Commander Kelp. You can speak to me."

"Put Ms. Short on the phone or Artemis Fowl will lose a finger."

Kelp looked around at the people in the room who were listening in – Holly, Butler, and Mulch, with Foaly in the background running a trace. "Fine," he said. "She's right here."

Holly took the phone. "This is Holly Short. Who am I talking to?"

"It's not important for you to know my name, Captain Short. If you like, you can call me Driver. Fowl came up with it."

Butler's eyes narrowed as he put two and two together and surmised that the man speaking was the one who'd driven away the limousine.

"Very well, Driver. How can I help you?"

"I – we're delivering coordinates to the station right now. We want you to come alone. No weapons, no gadgets, no tricks."

"And why would I do that?" Holly asked.

"If you ever want to see Fowl alive again, you'll come," snarled Driver.

"How do I know he's not already dead?" Holly asked. "Let me speak to him."

There was a pause, and then Driver sighed. "Pining for your lover's voice?" he asked. "Fine." There was a very short pause, and the sound of a hand striking flesh. "Wake up!"

"What?" it was Artemis' voice, everyone in the room recognized it immediately. "Holly? He's mad. I will _never_betray you, I –"

Artemis' voice cut off to another smack. "Tonight," said Driver, and he hung up.

"No good," Foaly said, frustrated. "He's using some kind of scrambling device."

"He's an amateur," Butler stated. "He's been making mistakes since the get-go. First, I saw his accomplice, and I can identify him if I see him again. Second, he called you and the press to boast about having Artemis, without asking for a ransom or stating a demand. In addition to that, his threats have escalated from cutting off fingers to killing Artemis in the space of a few seconds. He's emotional, unstable, and very, very dangerous. This is a personal vendetta. No matter what he says, we have to assume that his ultimate goal is to kill Artemis, and possibly Holly."

"There's also the fact that we're reasonably sure that this is an inside job," Kelp stated. "Mulch, I'm going to need your investigative skills. Help Foaly, you two see if you can't figure out where the leak of those photographs came from. Whoever's behind that could lead us to this Driver."

"Anything I can do to help," Mulch said. "I've gotten a bit of a soft spot for that particular Mud Man, over the years."

"Likewise," Foaly concurred. "He's the only one who can beat me at chess."

"What did Artemis mean?" Holly asked. "He said he would never betray me. What did he mean?"

No one had an answer for that.

The coordinates arrived soon after that, in a plain envelope addressed to Holly. "That's an old cavern system," Mulch said thoughtfully. "Unstable. No one's been in there for years, it's supposed to be blocked off. Even criminals avoid it, because no one likes the idea of being buried under half a kilometer of sold granite."

"If that's where Artemis is, I'll just have to risk it," Holly said grimly.

Three hours later she stood at the coordinates and waited to be taken by insane kidnappers. They didn't keep her waiting.


	13. Chapter 13

"She's pretty, isn't she?" asked Driver after he hung up the phone. He picked up a photograph from the table that Artemis had seen before, of himself and Holly in his dining room, kissing.

Artemis tried to ignore the intense pain in his feet and the burning thirst that was only heightened when Driver drank from a bottle of water. "You'd have to be blind not to see it," he replied.

"And you're not blind," Driver said softly. "It's just too bad that you chose to lust after an elf, instead of a Mud Woman. There are so many out there… billions. Surely _one_of them would be better suited for you? Why an elf? Why Holly?"

Artemis chose not to rise to that bait. He tried to swallow, disliking the way his throat seemed to stick to itself. "I need water," he told Driver. "Please."

"You know, I honestly thought you'd hold out a bit longer before you started begging," Driver said, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"If you want me to endure this torture longer, then give me water," Artemis said, trying to sound logical. "You fun will end more quickly if I die of dehydration in a few hours."

"I suppose it will, won't it?" asked Driver. He set down the photograph again and crossed his arms and drummed his fingers and thought about it. "Oh, very well." He lifted his metal water bottle to Artemis' lips, allowing him to drink nearly half of the remaining liquid inside. "Now then." He casually slapped Artemis across the face. "Why Holly?"

"I don't know," Artemis said, tasting blood in his mouth. "Because she's brave and fierce and good. She's my friend. I love her, is all. I just do."

"You don't know," Driver said. "You don't _know_. You know what _I_ think, Mud Man? I think you just wanted a challenge. And no one would deny that Holly Short is a challenging woman. She's all the things you said. She's also aloof and cold and driven by ambition. And rather than let her brush you off, you made it your goal to conquer her, because that's what you filthy humans do. You dominate and subdue." He stepped on one of Artemis' bare, tortured feet, and Artemis arched back in pain, unable to escape. "She should have _mesmered_you to leave her alone. But her curiosity has always been strong."

Artemis slumped, panting. "Her curiosity?" he asked. Anything to make Driver talk. The longer he spoke, the longer Artemis would live, and the closer Holly and the others got to rescuing him.

"Oh, yes." Driver started walking around Artemis' chair. "You see, I've known Holly for about sixty years, now. I've loved her from afar for nearly that entire time. Early on in our acquaintanceship, I overhead a conversation she had once with one of her classmates. She was wondering if a Mud Man's height is directly proportional to his endowment."

If Artemis hadn't been in so much pain, this conversation would have left him blushing. "What does a fifty-plus year old conversation have to do with anything?" he asked.

"Holly was _curious_about what a Mud Man could accomplish as a lover," Driver said slowly. "And then there you were, growing up right before her eyes. It must have been easy for her to get you to love her. Saving your life, helping your family, kind words. Perhaps a kiss or two? A little spark of hope that she kept kindled until you were all grown up."

"It wasn't like that," Artemis protested. He felt something coming to life inside of him, a small, intensely hot kernel of hatred for this man. Artemis tried to tamp it down, because he knew that he had to keep his wits about him, and hatred would get in the way of that.

"No, it really was," countered Driver. "Holly only let you seduce her so she could satiate some curiosity she'd had for a while. But surely, Artemis, _surely_ you must understand that she can't possibly actually _love_you. Why, even if I let you go right now, you'd only live for a few more decades. No elf in her right mind would commit herself to a human. Not really."

"Then why kill me?" Artemis asked. "If I'm not really a threat." That was something, though. It meant that whoever Driver was, he didn't have access to the videos of his surveillance, just some photographs. If he had hacked the LEP security system, he would have video and audio, which meant that someone had leaked the photograph.

"Because I do hate you," Driver said. To emphasize his point he stepped on Artemis' foot again. "And I'm tired of waiting around for her. It's time she realized that she's taken her little experiment too far. You shouldn't have lusted after her. She shouldn't have encouraged that."

Artemis gritted his teeth through the pain and tried not to waste any water on tears. "You're really quite insane," he panted. "First you say it's my fault, then you say it's hers. Then you say you love her. How, exactly, are you going to make me hate her with crazy, illogical argume –" Driver cracked him across the head with the metal water bottle.

"Shut up!" he screeched. "Just shut up!"

Artemis' ears were ringing. He could feel a trickle of what was probably blood making its way through his hair, behind his ear, and down his neck. "You should turn yourself in," he groaned. "You're mad. She will never love you, Driver, because she already loves me. Your plan won't work."

Driver stomped on Artemis' foot, and this time, he heard a snap as something broke. Artemis screamed. "She can't love you!" Driver yelled. "I've loved her since before your father was even born, you disgusting Mud Man! I will show her what a pathetic, repulsive creature you are and then I will kill you and she will get over this insane infatuation and come to me, like she's always been _supposed_to!" He shoved Artemis' chair, and Artemis went over backwards. His head connected with the rock of the cavern floor with a sickening crack.

He passed out.

It was a warm, sunny day, and he and Holly were reclining beneath an ancient oak tree beside a laughing stream. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and they were just looking into each other's eyes. "This is lovely," she murmured.

He dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers. "You're lovely," he told her softly.

"This is how you see me? Warm and pliant, bathed in sunlight, yearning for kisses?" she asked him.

He pulled back a bit to stare at her. "It's… it's how I wish we could be, sometimes," he said. "Just us, no imminent danger, no responsibility. Where we are free to hold one another without fear of judgment or repercussions."

"You'd soon get bored of all this lollygagging. Face it, Arty, you love a challenge, and you love danger." She smiled up at him, and he had to grin back.

"I suppose I do, rather," he acknowledged. "As do you."

"Very true. It's too bad this is just a dream, though, isn't it?" She touched the tip of her nose to his. "Will you ever grow bored with me?"

"Never," he vowed. "You're the most challenging, dangerous woman I know," he said. "You're my best friend, and my savior. I couldn't do without you." He paused. "Will _you_ ever grow bored with _me_?"

"Somehow, Arty, I think you'll find ways to keep me interested," the dream Holly teased him. She pressed a finger to his lips. "But you know what you have to do."

"What's that?" Artemis asked.

"You have to kiss me awake." She looked up at him, and the sun made her eyes shine like gems, peridot-flecked topaz, and sapphire. "It's very important."

"But you are awake, darling."

Holly shook her head, and gave him an enigmatic smile. "No, Artemis. I'm a dream. You're unconscious. You have to kiss me awake."

The dream started to turn red around the edges, and Artemis knew that pain was approaching, and thirst, and he didn't want to go back. "Oh, I see," he sighed. "Alright. I'll do that, then."

"I'll talk to you soon," Holly promised.

Artemis fought against the red pain, and instead he concentrated, and slipped into the observation room with Orion.


	14. Chapter 14

There was a camera mounted to the cave wall when Holly arrived. It was pointed at a table, upon which there was a note and a package. Holly picked up the note and read it. "Remove eye cam and throat mic," it said. "Leave all weapons behind. Remove LEP uniform. Dress in clothing provided and proceed down the tunnel for further instructions."

Reluctantly, Holly did as she was bid and removed her LEP uniform. She kept the unitard underwear she wore underneath and opened the package. Inside was a diaphanous golden dress, the kind of frivolous garment she'd never had occasion to wear or even own, and a pair of matching slippers. She decided to keep her boots on, and yanked the dress over her head with sharp, jerky movements. It tore on the seam under her arm and she swore. "_D'arvit_." She ignored the makeup provided. She carefully placed her blaster in the box with the rest. Lastly, she removed the eye cam and the throat mic, hoping that there was some clue she'd transmitted to the LEP. She still had the audio transmitter and receiver in her throat, and the tracker in her arm, and the gas canister Foaly had given her, tucked where it shouldn't be found.

Holly cautiously proceeded down the tunnel, counting every pace in a whisper and trying to memorize the way out. In this unused section, the walls and floor were slick, and spotted by a bioluminescent fungus of some kind. Colorless insects quietly lived their lives all around her. She walked for at least an hour, descending deeper into the earth. The tunnel branched occasionally, and there was always a note waiting for her and a camera watching her progress. She whispered the directions to the receiver.

"You're doing fine," Kelp told her, the sound coming in loud and clear directly to her eardrum, though it was inaudible to the rest of the world. "Foaly is working on a way to disable the cameras, put them on a repeating loop so that we can follow you in undetected. Take your time."

"I can't dawdle," Holly whispered. "Artemis is counting on me."

It got hotter and hotter as she descended, and she was sweating freely by the time she entered a large cavern and a hidden door clanged shut behind her.

"Welcome home, Holly," said a voice.

She whirled around. "Driver," she said, recognizing his voice.

"That's what he calls me," said the elf. There was a gun in his hand and he kept it pointed at her. He kept his distance from her, but his eyes crawled over her from head to toe. "Very nice," he purred. "Except for the boots. Combat boots don't go well with an evening gown. You should have worn the slippers."

"Thinks he's the phantom of the opera," Foaly muttered into her ear.

"Where is Artemis?" Holly asked.

Driver's face tightened in anger. "He's alive," he said sulkily. "You would be disgusted to see him. He's messed himself, smells worse than a fresh dwarf tunnel."

Holly almost expected Mulch to comment, but he remained silent. Her rage rose at the thought of what Artemis must have been put through at the hands of this lunatic. Messed himself? That was so unlike the fastidious young man she knew that she almost didn't believe it. "Take me to him," she demanded.

"No," Driver said. "No. First, young lady, we are going to sit down and have a nice dinner and a chat." He gestured toward a door with his gun. "Let's go in there, it's air-conditioned." When she hesitated his face darkened again. "Go _on_," he snarled.

Holly marched past him and into the room. He didn't come close enough for her to grab him. As she walked she looked around the cavern. Ill-lit and enormous, the floor was level but the walls were rough and there were hundreds of stalactites on the ceiling. Doors dotted the walls at irregular heights and intervals, some with stairs leading up to them, suggesting that natural caves were cut for fairy use. There was no one else that she could see. There were no other noises save those she and Driver made, and the steady drip of water somewhere out of sight. Holly began to wonder if Driver was doing all of this on his own, somehow, of if his accomplices were guarding Artemis.

The air conditioned room she entered was draped with richly colored curtains made from inferior cloth. There was a small table with two chairs, and a dinner was set out, complete with candles. "Sit down," Driver ordered her. "And handcuff yourself to the chair. Nice and tight. No escaping."

"_No_," said Holly. "I will not _handcuff_myself for you."

"Oh, I promise I'll be good," Driver said. "A perfect gentleman. But I know how dangerous you are, Holly. I wouldn't want you attacking me while we eat." And then he shot his gun.

The laser zipped past her ear, so close that she smelled burned hair. A centimeter to the left and she would have been hit. She hadn't even had time to flinch, but she felt the blood drain out of her face. Driver was smiling serenely at her, and she knew that the shot had gone exactly where he'd wanted it to. The next time he fired it wouldn't be a warning. Holly sat. "Fine," she said. "Just don't shoot at me again." She clicked the handcuffs on, one for either wrist; the other ends were already attached to the arms of the wooden chair.

In her ear, Kelp's voice said, "Holly, Foaly's figured out the cameras. We're on our way. We've got you on the tracker, and counting your paces helped. We should be there in thirty minutes."

Thirty minutes, that's all she needed to do, was wait that long.

Driver sat down in the other chair and smiled at her. If anyone had seen him and didn't know he was a psychopath, they might have thought him handsome. "So glad you could join me," he told her, as if this was a brunch between friends. "It's been so long since we've had a chance to talk."

Holly frowned. "Do I know you?" she asked. She searched his face, trying to place it with a name.

"Oh, yes. We were neighbors, once upon a time. I looked a little different then." He turned his face to the side and displayed his profile. "I had my nose done. Nice, isn't it?"

Holly's mind raced furiously as she thought back to all the neighbors she'd ever had. Nothing came up, nothing at all. She furrowed her brow, wracking her brain. "You'll have to refresh my memory," she said cautiously. "How did we meet?"

"I remember it like it was yesterday," said Driver. "Your hair was longer, then. I was taking a walk around the neighborhood when some hoodlums accosted me. But you were there, and you saved me. Ah, you were beautiful, and so fierce. After you ran them off, I said, 'Thank you. What's your name?' You said, 'Holly. And don't mention it.' And then you _smiled_at me." Driver leaned forward and devoured her face with his eyes. "From that moment on I knew we were meant to be together. You weren't quite ready, though. You were still training."

For the life of her Holly couldn't remember the encounter. She kept silent and felt her stomach sinking. This man had been stalking her for over fifty years and she'd never had a clue.

Driver smiled again at her, and then picked up the fork on the plate in front of her. He held a bite up to her lips. "It's your favorite," he told her. "Go on, taste. Tell me what you think."

"I'm not hungry," Holly told him, refusing to even look at the food.

Driver put the fork down. "How disappointing," he pouted. He patted her hand instead. "No matter. I shall show you what you came to see." He produced a phone and set it on the table before her. There on the screen was Artemis. He was tied to a chair which had been tipped over, and his eyes were closed. There was a small pool of blood beneath his head.

Holly stared hard at the image, and couldn't stop the relief in her voice. "He's breathing," she said. "He's alive." She started noticing other things, too, like the bruises on his face and his tortured feet. "What have you done to him?"

"That Mud Man dared to touch you," Driver said calmly. "I had to show him that he was wrong to do so. You, of course, aren't entirely innocent in the matter. I understand you had a certain morbid curiosity, but really. You should be ashamed of yourself, Holly. I will have to punish you rather severely."

Holly spared a glance from the phone to Driver's face. She didn't like the smug, oily smile on his face. "I suppose you'll torture me, too?" she snarled.

"No, no, of course not. I'm not a monster." He laughed it off. Holly was incredulous, that he could do something like torture a helpless man, and then still believe himself a good guy. "I'll just confine you until you're sorry for what you did. We'll talk every day, you and I. You'll get to know me. Soon, you'll forget all about that Mud Man, and you'll come to love me as much as I love you." He touched her cheek softly. "I've waited so long for you." He brought his face closer to hers, but Holly turned away, disgusted at the thought of kissing him. He pulled back, and frowned. "I've been patient," he said. "But my patience is wearing thin, Holly."

"Take your filthy hand off me," Holly whispered.

Driver didn't, right away. Instead he traced the line of her jaw up to her ear, grabbed it in a hard grip that made her wince, and turned her cheek toward him. She couldn't pull away without ripping her own ear off. He kissed the corner of her mouth, smirked at her, and let her go. Then he sat back and lifted his own fork to his mouth.

The instant his eyes dropped to his plate, Holly burst into action.


	15. Chapter 15

"I hate that guy," Orion said as soon as Artemis appeared. "He's really, really crazy."

"Yes," Artemis agreed. "He thinks he knows Holly. And he clearly has plans for her. He thinks that he loves her and that she'll come to love him. We have to assume that he's capable of anything, including harming Holly when she refuses him." He crossed over to the couch and looked down at the elf that lay sleeping there.

Orion bobbed up at his shoulder. "Oooh," he said. "Are you going to awaken the sleeping beauty with a kiss of true love?"

Artemis knelt on the plush carpet and reached up to brush auburn hair away from her forehead. His pale fingers looked almost sickly compared to her nut-brown skin. He ignored Orion and bent at the waist, and carefully touched his lips to hers.

At first nothing seemed to happen, and Artemis pulled back, slightly disappointed.

"Maybe you should try again," Orion suggested. "Perhaps it –"

The dream Holly opened her eyes and locked them with Artemis'. He couldn't have looked away if he'd tried, and he felt some kind of pull behind his eyes. It wasn't exactly a pleasant sensation. And then he could see the world through Holly's eyes and hear what she heard.  
_Yes,_ he thought. _This could be useful._

Driver's mistake had been in not tying down her legs. Holly used that instant of inattention as he looked down at his food to launch her bottom from the chair. Her arms were dragged behind her by the handcuffs on the chair, but she ignored that, planted her feet, and then kicked the table right into Driver's midriff. By lucky chance the wind was knocked out of him. While Driver was gasping for breath and reaching for his gun, she grabbed the chair behind her by its arms and whirled to dash it against the cave wall.

Like the cheap curtains, the furniture in the room was sub-par, a soft wood with flimsy joints. Holly was adrenaline-fueled and the chair cracked, not quite broken. She twisted her wrists around in the handcuffs and hauled it by the back, up and over her head just in time to block the blast from Driver's gun. She kept up the momentum and smashed it against the floor.

This time, it broke, and Holly was left with rather crude but effective weapons. The largest piece she hurled at Driver, and he instinctively raised an arm to shield himself. While he was preoccupied with that, she moved in closer, brandishing a chair leg like a club. Swiftly, she raised it to block his hand when he swung it around to aim at her again. Then she stepped forward once more and jabbed her fingers into his throat.

Driver gagged and turned purple. Holly didn't give him a chance to recover. She rapped the chair leg smartly against his wrist, hearing bones crunch, and he dropped the gun. A wild punch caught her in the ribs and Holly wheezed, but she was too well-trained to let that stop her. She whipped the chair leg in toward his temple. It connected with a loud crack and he dropped.

The entire fight had taken less than twelve seconds.

"What's going on?!" Demanded Commander Kelp into her ear.

"I'm fine, Trouble. He's unconscious. Forget the cameras, just get here as fast as you can. I think he's doing this alone."

"Acknowledged," Kelp said.

Quickly, Holly patted down Driver's pockets, looking for a key to the handcuffs that still dangled from her wrists. She found it, and quickly unlocked them, only to clasp them around Driver's wrists and ankles, effectively hog-tying him. She dropped the key into her boot.

She found his gun and checked it – amazingly, the blaster looked like it had been tampered with. It wouldn't simply have zapped her; it could have actually killed her. Holly next found Driver's phone, hoping that it was still showing Artemis. It had shut itself off, and she didn't have the password to get it going again. In a fit of anger she threw it against the wall and broke it. '_Foaly isn't going to like that_,' said a voice in the back of her mind that sounded suspiciously like Artemis. She just shook her head and sighed. No time to worry about that now.

The door closed from the inside, so Holly couldn't put anything in front of it to keep it shut. Instead she zapped the handle, melting it so that it would stay locked. If Driver somehow managed to get out of his handcuffs he might find a way to remove the hinges and he would still be able to escape, so Holly hurried.

Cursing the stupid, stupid dress she wore and mightily missing her LEP uniform and helmet and her own weapons, she crouched and made her way into the larger cavern. "Where are you, Artemis?" she whispered, eyes scanning her surroundings and darting to the doors she had to choose from. She picked the closest one yanked it open, ready to shoot anything that seemed like it might kill her. It was empty.

'_I'm not entirely certain,_' said the voice in her mind again.

"Great, talking to myself," Holly whispered.

'_No, darling, actually, we're holding a conversation.'_Artemis' voice wasn't heard so much as felt. Holly proceeded to the next door.

"What was that, Captain?" Came Kelp's voice, transmitted through her sub-dermal mic.

"Talking to my subconscious," Holly answered. "My mind has decided to make it sound like Arty. What's your ETA, Trubs?"

"Fifteen minutes," Kelp told her. "We're coming as fast as we can."

"Alright," Holly said to him. She yanked open the door and cleared the room. Again, empty but for dust thick on the floor.

'_Holly, I'm not your subconscious,_' came Artemis' voice again. '_I am speaking with you telepathically. That… or this is some sort of coping mechanism for the concussion. I don't have enough information to say for certain. I'm in a room, about five meters square, with a single light bulb. I'm tied to a chair. There is one door._' There was a short pause. '_There seems to be a vein of some darker rock running down the middle, you should see it cross the door._'

Sure enough, there actually was a door just like what he described. All the way across the cavern. She paused just for a second, and then ran for it. Once, she glanced over her shoulder to check on Driver's impromptu prison. The door was shut fast. She didn't see another person anywhere around. When Holly reached the door she threw it open.

Artemis lay there, just as she'd seen him on Driver's phone. She dashed to his side. "I found him, Commander," she said to her sub-dermal mic. She felt for a pulse and gave him the room's location.

Artemis slowly fluttered his eyes open, but they didn't seem to quite focus on her. "Holly, there are two of you. That can't be good. I can only kiss one at a time."

"Hush, Arty. Lie still. I'm going to heal you." She barely managed not to roll her eyes at his mention of kissing. Tied to a chair and slowly dying from a concussion, and he still had time to think about that. Men! She knelt and gently lifted his head into her lap, ignoring the blood. She concentrated on the injury. "Heal," she breathed.

Blue sparks flowed from her hands, concentrating on the most important thing first, his head wound. She poured everything she had into it. It took several minutes, and she watched as the blue sparks traveled from his head to his face, all across his ribs and arms, down his legs, and finally culminating at his feet. She heard the crackle of bones setting, and felt sick as she watched his broken foot heal. Artemis had long since arched, gasping, at the pain of the process. When it was done, Holly was depleted of magic and Artemis collapsed again, dragging in great gulps of air.

"Untie me," Artemis said. "He's mad. We need to get out of here as quickly as possible." He paused, and his face turned red. "I seem to have… I'm sorry. How disgusting."

Holly was already working on it. She was trying to ignore the smell. "It's not your fault he didn't give you any bathroom breaks," she said briskly. "We'll get you cleaned up and out of that suit just as soon as possible."

"Where is Driver?" Artemis asked.

"I tied knocked him out and handcuffed him in another room," she explained. Artemis was freed, and he quickly stood up.

"I don't suppose you've seen my shoes anywhere, have you?" When she shook her head in the negative, Artemis sighed. "Barefoot it is, then. I'll need a pedicure after this."

"You'll need more than that," said Driver. They whirled around. He was standing in the door, bruised and bloodied, and the thumb on his left hand was dislocated. Handcuffs dangled from his right wrist, and he was pointing a gun at them.


	16. Chapter 16

Butler was with the rescue mission, of course. Some of the tunnels had been a tight squeeze for him, but he wasn't worried about losing a little skin on his chest and shoulders if it meant getting to Artemis and protecting him from this lunatic.

He'd insisted on being hooked up to Holly's transmissions along with the others, and they'd complied, mostly because not complying would have lead to a scene, and when Butler causes a scene, no one ever has cause to be happy about it. He had memorized Holly's directions, and as soon as they entered the large cavern with multiple doors he looked for and found the vein of darker rock running through one.

And there, silhouetted very nicely in the light pouring through it, was an elf that Butler assumed to be Driver. From the way he was standing, the bodyguard could tell he was pointing a weapon at whoever was in the room.

Artemis.

No projectile guns allowed. The surrounding rock was too unstable to allow any noises as loud as a gunshot. He might easily have killed Driver and then brought the cave down on their heads. So Butler simply applied his long legs and outdistanced the rest of the rescue squad in a matter of seconds.

"Don't do this, Driver," Holly said, trying to keep her voice calm. "Please. Don't shoot."

"This isn't what was supposed to happen," Driver hissed, his eyes ablaze with fury. "You were supposed to come to _me_." He pointed his gun at Artemis. "I should just shoot him now! You won't like your little boyfriend so much if his brains are scattered all over the walls, will you?!"

Artemis was frozen in place. He was very attached to his brains, after all, and he didn't want any sudden movement on his part to make the twitchy madman pull the trigger.

It was with considerable relief that he saw Butler slide silently behind Driver. Not so silent were the rest of the rescue squad, and Driver glanced over his shoulder at a tiny should that shouldn't have been there. His eyes widened and with a shout he swung around. At the same instant Butler, in a motion almost too fast to be seen, yanked Driver's arm up. The gun fired a laser blast into the ceiling, leaving a long black scorch mark. There was a short scuffle as Driver fought wildly with everything he had, screaming in incoherent rage. Then the screaming stopped, as Butler quite simply broke Driver's neck, dropped him, stepped over the body, and started checking Artemis over for signs of damage.

"Thank you, Butler," Artemis said. "But Holly healed me. I'm perfectly fine. Disgustingly filthy, but physically whole."

Commander Trouble Kelp slid into the room not two seconds after, and stared down at Driver's corpse. "Was killing him absolutely necessary?" he asked, a hard edge to his voice.

"Yes," Butler said implacably. "Our lives were in danger."

Trouble looked at his Captain, and she hesitated, but gave him the barest of nods. "This is going to be messy," he sighed.

After that, it was simply a matter of getting out of there. Artemis wound up in an impromptu toga made from the cheap drapes from the air-conditioned dining cave, after cleaning up with some first-aid alcohol wipes. They found no sign of his shoes, jacket, or tie. A sweep of all the rooms showed that Driver had been living there for some time. There was a small pile of gold ingots worth at least a couple million pounds, and a rather disturbing room filled with pictures of Holly. Newspaper clippings, surveillance photographs, and drawings. No one else was found, and it was surmised that the decoy used on Butler had been hired just for that purpose. With the amount of gold Driver had hoarded, he could have easily paid for temporary help. They would pursue that lead too, of course.

Holly and Artemis had been fed, given their statements, and hours later finally been released. They went straight to Artemis' house in his car.

"First, I think I'm going to take a shower," Artemis declared, plucking at his curtain-toga with some distaste. "If you'd like to do the same, you're more than welcome to." Holly stared up at him, and Artemis belatedly realized how that had sounded. "I mean… there's another shower. In the guest bathroom. That way. There's more than enough hot water for both of us. Please."

Holly slowly grinned and then took a hold of his hand. She tugged and he leaned down, and she rose up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Alright," she said. "I think I'll sleep over, I'm too tired to go home. I could almost fall asleep on my feet." Then she stepped back and wandered off toward the guest bathroom.

Artemis took his time in the shower, washing away all the blood and sweat and less pleasant bodily fluids in water almost hot enough to scald him. Then he shaved, brushed his hair back, cleaned his teeth, and slipped into a pair of pyjamas. He began to ponder what he'd wear as he entered his bedroom, steam billowing out the door behind him. Three steps in, he stopped dead.

Holly was sitting on his bed, wrapped in one of his night shirts, her auburn hair damp and curling slightly on the ends. "Hi," she said shyly.

Artemis' mouth went dry. He tried to swallow but it seemed like his tongue just got in the way and stuck to everything. _Holly was in his bed._"Hi," he finally breathed. His brain short-circuited. "I thought you meant – the guest bedroom – if you want – I mean, you look so – what's happening?" He couldn't get over the thought that Holly was in his bed, wearing one of his night shirts, and he was standing not fifteen feet away. The shirt was much too big on her, and had slipped off a shoulder, baring smooth brown skin. His higher cognitive skills seemed to be taking a sabbatical.

"Relax," Holly told him. "Just breath, in and out, that's it." She smiled as Artemis followed her direction. "Now come here, sit next to me."

Artemis drifted over to the bed and climbed up, feeling like he was floating through a dream.

Holly picked up his hand and kissed it. "We have a lot to talk about," she said. "But I'm exhausted. Tonight, I just want to sleep in your arms, alright?"

"Sleep," Artemis repeated. With some difficulty, he dragged his mind away from the other bed-related non-sleep activities that it had been conjuring up, and he nodded. "Alright." He inhaled a couple more times. "Yes, you must be tired. You've had an exhausting day."

They pulled back the covers and slipped under them. Artemis turned toward Holly, and she scooted closer to him, turned her back, and pressed it against his torso. He didn't know what to do with the arm underneath him, and ended up slipping it under the pillow. Holly grabbed his other arm and wrapped her own arms around it, hugging it close to her body.

All Artemis could think about was how small and warm and soft she felt, and how she had pressed his loosely curled fist against her breasts. He could feel her heart beating beneath it. He liked spooning like this with her, it made him feel tender and protective. He curled closer into her and buried his face in her hair, breathing in the grass-and-citrus scent of her.

Holly seemed to fall asleep immediately, but Artemis wasn't able to calm his racing blood for another hour. Finally, he, too, slipped into slumber.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note: The following chapter contains the content which makes it necessary for me to rate this story M. If you don't want to read it, then don't!**

Artemis Fowl found himself to be in a bit of a quandary.

The trouble was that it was morning, and like every healthy young man the world over, he'd woken up with an erection. Normally, he would have simply ignored it until it went away, but in this particular instance he was finding that very hard to do, for the simple fact that it was pressed against the soft backside of the love of his life.

Her eyes were closed and her breathing was deep and slow and even, so Artemis surmised that she was still asleep. She was also still clutching one of his arms and using the other as a pillow. Incidentally, his pillow-arm was still asleep, even if the rest of him wasn't. He couldn't move from his position without waking her up, at which point she would definitely feel the evidence of his attraction to her. He didn't know if she'd be pleased or not.

So he stayed where he was, trying not to think about how good she felt pressed against him, and trying desperately to ignore the fact that somehow in the night his hand had found and cupped her breast. It took most of his concentration not to explore further, to keep himself from squeezing and stroking the soft mound.

He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut and painstakingly started going over string theory in his head. His tactic, however, failed spectacularly when Holly made a soft humming sound and stretched. Her back arched, at once pushing her bum more firmly into his erection and her breast further into his hand.

Artemis gasped, unable to stop the instinctive buck of his hips against her. His fingers twitched. "Holly?" he whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Mmm," she said again. She repeated her sensuous arch, and Artemis nearly lost his mind.

"Holly," he repeated. "Holly, if you continue to do that I – I don't know what I'm going to do."

Her eyes fluttered slowly open and a self-satisfied smile curled her lips upward. "Liked that, did you?" she asked, half-whispering.

"A bit too much," Artemis managed to eke out.

Holly deliberately reached up with her hands and pressed Artemis' more firmly against her breast. "Touch me," she said. "Please?"

All restraint evaporated under the force of that request. "Yes," Artemis sighed, and did as she'd so nicely asked. "You're so beautiful." His hand explored her through the nightshirt, soft, perfectly formed, petite and perfect. But the thin layer of silk was too much, and almost before he thought about it, he'd fumbled a couple buttons open, enough to slip his hand inside and touch her skin.

"Arty," Holly sighed, arching into him some more. Then she twisted around in his arms and kissed him. During the kiss Artemis let his hand roam across her skin, over the strong muscles of her back and the sweet dip of her waist. He deepened the kiss, loving the taste of her, and she moaned into his mouth as their tongues met and twined. The passion building between them was fierce and hot. Then Holly pushed him away. "Lie on your back," she instructed.

Artemis rolled onto his back, and Holly flung her legs over his hips, straddling him. She reached down and quickly unbuttoned his pajama top, pushing it aside to reveal his chest. Artemis returned the favor, reaching up for her, tugging the buttons from their holes and pushing back the nightshirt to reveal her. With a shock, he saw that she wasn't wearing a single stitch of clothing underneath. The sight of her toned body, the long limbs and curvy hips, was so arousing that he nearly climaxed right then and there. His eyes fixed on the thatch of auburn hair between her thighs. "Have you been like this all night?" he breathed. "Oh, _Holly_."

"I was half-hoping you'd do something naughty," she teased him. Then she rolled her hips, brushing against his erection through his pajama bottoms. He grabbed onto her hips, groaning. "I want to make love with you, right now," she said. Her hands splayed across his chest, touching him everywhere, even tweaking his nipples, which Artemis found he enjoyed quite a lot.

He didn't need any more encouragement. He lifted his hips from the bed and shoved his clothing down his hips to his knees, then used his feet to work them the rest of the way off. "I won't last," he warned her. "You're just too beautiful, and this is so new, I – tell me what to do, my love."

Holly raised herself up and looked down at him for the first time. She went still, and so did Artemis, waiting with baited breath for her reaction. "My, my," she finally said, and gave him a positively wicked look. "Just you lay there. Just relax."

Artemis' penis was of average length and girth, according to his measurements and medical databases. Thirteen centimeters long, and Holly couldn't quite touch her thumb to her fingers when she wrapped her hand around it. He was worried that he'd be too big for her. She was so tiny. The sensation of her hand around him made Artemis expel all the air in his lungs and arch toward her. "Oh!" And then she started moving her hand, up and down, in quick rhythm. As he'd predicted, Artemis didn't last long. Maybe a minute before the waves of his orgasm crashed over him. He arched into her hand, his fists twisting the sheets. A blush flushed his face and neck, his toes curled, and he shouted her name as long ropes of cum shot from him, landing on his belly and chest.

Artemis collapsed back, breathing hard, every nerve ending buzzing, his skin sweat-slicked. He gave himself half a minute to drift in the golden bliss she'd gifted him with, only shaking it off when she hopped from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. "Holly?"

She was back a moment later, brandishing tissues. "Here," she told him, passing them over.

"Thank you," he murmured, and started to clean himself off. He kept stealing glances at her. She was looking him over, lust still evident in her mismatched eyes. "You weren't able to…"

"I will," Holly said huskily. "Soon. How quickly do you think you'll be hard again?"

"A couple of minutes," Artemis answered, barely having to consider it. He threw the tissues into the waste bin. Then he reached for her. She let him roll her onto her back, and he settled between her legs. In order to kiss her, his hips were between her thighs, until she raised her knees and wrapped them around his waist.

For long, blissful minutes Artemis concentrated on simply kissing her, alternating between gentle and teasing kisses to passionate demanding kisses. He nibbled on her bottom lip, kissed and licked his way to her earlobe. She planted little kisses along his neck, too, and then when she reached his shoulder she gently bit him – just hard enough to leave a red impression of her teeth – only to soothe it with her tongue a moment later. "Touch me," she demanded.

Artemis propped his weight on one arm, freeing the other to roam across her body. He started at her lips and slowly moved down, exploring the lines of her throat, the delicate struts of her collar-bones. He spent quite a lot of time teasing her breasts, and finally dipped his head to take a cinnamon nipple into his mouth. She liked that, and arched against him, clutching his hair in desperate fingers. He was rock hard by this time, but his earlier orgasm had taken some of the urgency away, and he felt confident that he'd last longer, this time.

Gently, he pinched and rolled her nipples, loving the way she squirmed and gasped and pressed against his hand. He pressed his lips to her sternum and then made a trail of kisses down her stomach. Her hands were still in his hair, and when he reached her naval she gently pushed down. Artemis took the hint and scooted even lower, until he was looking at her center. "You smell so good," he moaned. "Like lemon cookies."

She giggled. "What?"

"I could eat you up," he said, surprised at how his voice came out, a near-growl.

Holly's eyes widened and her lips parted. She breathed out shakily. "Please, do," she invited, and spread her legs wider.

Artemis had done extensive research on the topic of sex, obviously. He'd wanted to be as prepared as possible when the time finally came. However, theory and practice are two entirely different things, and he was afraid of doing something wrong. Ever so gently, he touched her with his fingers, first, parting her folds and stroking through the dark reddish curls. She shuddered and bucked slightly, which he thought was good. With careful fingers he traced her shape, memorizing the texture, mesmerized by the slickness coating her womanhood. Rudimentary biology and countless pornographic stories told him where her clit would be, and so he found it and pressed his finger against it.

"Arty," Holly gasped. She started to slowly buck against his fingers, and Artemis redoubled his efforts, focusing on the little bud of nerves, rubbing it in tiny circles, pressing down. When he thought he had pinned down a good rhythm, he pressed his face closer to her, and licked her opening. She tasted just like she smelled, like lemon cookies, and it was so incredibly good. Holly was reduced to wordless moaning that served only to spur him on. He licked and fondled her for several minutes, taking in every gasp, every movement.

Then her fingers tightened in his hair, her legs clamped around his head, and she thrust against his mouth. A new flood of wet warmth coated his lips and chin, and he knew that he'd brought her to climax. A swell of pride welled in him, overshadowed only by the intense love he felt for her. When she was done, and her death-grip relaxed, Artemis pulled his fingers from her and stuck them into his mouth. He sucked off her juices as he sat up, looking at her. "Was it good?" he asked huskily.

"Great _stars_, Artemis," Holly managed to gasp out. "Yes! If I didn't know any better I'd swear you've done that before."

"You know you're the only one for me, darling," Artemis told her. He ran his fingers from her knees to her breasts, and lingered there a while, teasing her nipples.

"Lay on your back again," she urged, finally feeling the strength return to her limbs. Artemis complied, and Holly straddled him again. "You're so big," she said, wrapping her hand around his manhood. She gave a couple of slow pumps.

"Rather ordinary, by human standards," Artemis said anxiously. "Will I fit?" he asked, unable to keep the worry from his voice.

"You could never be merely ordinary, Artemis Fowl." She eyed him hungrily. "Oh, yes, you'll fit," Holly assured him. "But let me control it. It will take a while for me to adjust." She licked her lips, and leaned forward and kissed him lingeringly. Then she placed the tip of him against her opening, and pushed down.

Centimeter by centimeter, it was agonizingly sweet torture for them both. Holly felt deliciously stretched, incredibly full, and Artemis felt like he was being gripped in a velvet vise. "So… tight," he choked out. "Perfect, Holly, you're perfect. So sweet." He'd been keeping busy, touching her everywhere that he could reach while she focused on taking him all in.

Finally, he was fully within her, and Artemis thought that there could be nothing more wonderful than this, than being this close to Holly. He reached up and cupped her face in his hands, and brushed a thumb across her lips. "I love you, Holly," he told her.

"I love you, too, Arty," she sighed. And then she started to move. Artemis slid his hands down the curve of her waist and settled on her hips, while she planted her palms against his chest. They found a rhythm, somehow following instinct, chasing each other higher and higher to ecstasy.

Artemis lifted his head from the pillow and watched his manhood disappearing over and over again inside her tight little body. The sight was so profoundly erotic, that it brought him right to the edge. "Holly," he gasped, lifting his eyes to hers.

Holly was red-faced, her expression a compelling mixture of tension and concentration. "Almost… there," she gasped. She started riding him faster, and Artemis helped, lifting her higher each time she went up, and pulling her down a bit faster than she would have come on her own. Then she cried out and curled her hips against his, grinding down. Her head was thrown back, and Artemis felt a tightness pulse around him, again and again. The bliss she experienced was blinding. He was only seconds behind her in the most powerful orgasm he'd ever experienced.

Utterly spent, Holly collapsed against his chest. She closed her eyes and listened to the frantic boom of his heart beneath her ear, and the deep, ragged breaths he was dragging in, a counterpart to her own. Artemis simply smiled up at the ceiling as his hands cupped and kneaded her bum.

"That was absolutely brilliant," he whispered.

"Mm," she agreed.

The sweat was starting to chill him, and Artemis imagined that she might be feeling a bit cool, as well. Tenderly, he pulled up a bed sheet and tucked it around her shoulders. She hummed again and hugged him with legs and arms.

They drifted off together.


	18. Chapter 18

Twenty minutes later, Butler quietly came into the room with a breakfast tray. He was half-way to the bed before he realized that Artemis wasn't alone under the covers. He froze for half a second, and then, keeping his eyes away from the bed, he turned right around and beat a hasty retreat.

As he shut the door behind him, Butler thought that he'd have to have a talk with Artemis about little things like locking doors.

Holly had awakened the instant Butler had come in, and watched the entire little scene through slitted eyes. She'd been covered up, so wasn't particularly embarrassed, but she had the feeling that Artemis wouldn't have wanted Butler to see them like this. This was their private moment.

She realized that while they'd drifted off, Artemis had softened and fallen out of her. There was a sticky mess between them, and she felt the urge to have a shower. She grinned and ran her hands up Artemis' sides. She stopped at his nipples and pinched them gently until they stood up like little pink pebbles on the flat muscles of his chest. "Artemis," Holly whispered. She slid up his body until she could kiss him.

"Mmm," he moaned. "Mmm?"

She pulled back from his lips and grinned at him. "We need a shower. Wanna share one?"

That really got his attention. "Indeed, yes," he answered. He sat up, and Holly loved how adorably tousled he looked, with his normally carefully brushed-back hair sticking out in random spikes everywhere and falling over his eyes. "How long were we asleep?"

Holly shrugged. "Perhaps twenty minutes or so." She tugged at his hand, and he willingly followed her into the bathroom.

The water was hot almost instantly, so they wasted no time stepping into the spray of water. The shower actually had multiple shower-heads, and the stall was large enough that Butler could have laid down in it without feeling cramped. "Ahhhh," Holly sighed, tilting her face up to enjoy the sensation. Artemis followed her in just a second later, clutching a couple of washcloths and a hand towel. When she reached for the soap Artemis stopped her.

"Allow me," he murmured. Holly grinned as he folded up the hand-towel and placed it on the shower floor, then knelt upon it. He rubbed some of the soap into the washcloth and worked up a lather, then carefully started washing her. He started with her face, then her ears, then her neck of course. Once those were all clean he leaned in and kissed her. When he was on his knees she was just a bit taller than him, perhaps by a centimeter or two. Holly reached out and took the washcloth from him and returned the favor, slowly cleaning his face and ears and neck, and then kissing him soundly on the mouth after he'd rinsed. He loved the feel of her pressed against him like this, with the gentle rush of hot water pelting him across his back.

Holly handed Artemis back the washcloth, and he started with her hands. Once those were clean he washed her arms, and then picked up her hand and sucked a delicate finger into her mouth. His dark blue eyes watched for her reaction the entire time, and it wasn't exactly subtle. As his tongue swirled around the digit, Holly shivered and got goose-bumps. Her lips parted as she sighed, and she swayed toward him.

After that it was a little game, exchanging the washcloth, cleaning one another. Artemis was very careful to clean her breasts, and she took her time lathering up his manhood, running her fingers down the length and through the black curls gathered at the base. By the time they were each as clean as it was possible to get, they were both more than ready.

She stepped into his arms and they kissed for a small eternity, hands roaming across soft skin. He found a spot on her back just above her hip next to her spine, that when he trailed his fingers across it she mewled and arched into him. She discovered that running squeezing his bum made his cock twitch impatiently. Finally, Artemis could take no more. "Wrap your legs around my waist," he pleaded. She did so, and locked her arms around his neck as well. Artemis curled his hands under her bum, touching her center, slipping a finger inside to find her hot and wet.

Carefully, so as not to slip, Artemis climbed to his feet. He stepped against the wall and Holly braced her back against it, trusting him not to let her fall. She reached down between them, placed the tip of him at her entrance, and he thrust inside.

"Holly!" he groaned. She was swearing in Gnomish. Then she began to gyrate her hips and Artemis moved as well, falling into the patterns of that ages-old dance.

There was a sweet pressure building inside of Holly, a bit of liquid golden bliss that burned hotter with every thrust. She wanted to kiss him, but she really wasn't quite tall enough to manage it. She compromised by pressing her lips to his chest, and licking the heated skin. She liked how he tasted, salty and slightly earthy. She dragged her fingers across his skin, loving how seconds later pink reminders rose up on the pale flesh, a temporary mark that would fade as quickly as it appeared.

Artemis' breath came in ragged gasps as he felt the pressure building in his testicles. "I'm so close," he warned her.

"Me, too," she panted. She had the same intent look on her face, a taut focus, that she had had just before her earlier climax. Artemis bit his lip and pumped his hips faster, harder, eliciting little grunts from her. The blood rose in her cheeks, and just when he thought he wouldn't be able to hold out any longer she dug her nails into his shoulders and arched into him. The spasms wracked her body, outside and in. He felt her gripping his member with her inner muscles, once, twice, a third time, and that pushed him over the edge. He lost himself to the carnal pleasure, knowing only that he had to put himself inside of her as deeply as possible and hold himself there for approximately eternity.

A minute or two passed, and finally Artemis was recovered enough to look down at her. She was smiling up at him, happy and sated, a woman who had been thoroughly loved. She clung to him until he softened and slipped out. Carefully, Artemis set her down, making sure she was steady before letting go.

She couldn't help it – he was right there, after all. Holly pressed a sweet little kiss to his member, smelling herself on the shaft, mixed with his musk. Artemis groaned, and twitched, and had to brace himself on the wall. "Next time, feel free to do that as much as you want," he murmured. "But for now I think we'd better wash up, again, and then get dressed and start the day."

"I suppose so," Holly reluctantly agreed. And so they did.


	19. Chapter 19

Butler had breakfast waiting for them when they emerged from Artemis' bedroom. "Good morning," he greeted impassively.

"Good morning, old friend," Artemis said in return, his demeanor positively chipper. "How are you? Did you sleep well?" He pulled out a seat for Holly, ever the gentleman, and then seated himself.

"I slept fine," Butler told Artemis, his voice even. "Probably more than you two did."

Holly tried not to grin as she laid her napkin over her lap. Artemis faltered for just a second and his face turned red. "Oh? Good, then. I'm glad yesterday's business didn't keep you up."

Butler wasn't too happy about 'yesterday's business' in fact, but now that Driver was permanently out of the picture he'd finally been able to breathe. Being a bodyguard meant having a certain willingness to die for one's principle, or to kill, and Butler had never shirked his duty, in either case. "Artemis, there is something I wanted to talk to you about," he rumbled as he dished out their food.

"What's that?" Artemis inquired.

Holly took a long sip of her water, suspecting what was coming.

"Yes, well," Butler said. "You see, I thought I'd bring you some breakfast in bed this morning, the way I used to."

Artemis gave Holly a wide-eyed look, but kept silent so Butler could finish.

"I should have knocked. I didn't, though, and I'm sorry. You were asleep. You were… _both_asleep." He paused again and cleared his throat. "As your protector, I think it's my duty to remind you that if you are in a house with other people, you may wish to lock your doors when anticipating… privacy."

Artemis rather wanted the floor to open up and swallow him, just at the moment. "Ahem," he said, hating the squeak in his voice. "Yes. Thank you for the reminder, Butler. And I trust you will make sure to knock, in the future?"

"Of course, of course," Butler said. "Again, I'm sorry about that. There is one other thing." He finished serving and sat cross-legged on the floor so that he could eat at the low table with them. "I hope you two are being careful?"

"Careful?" Holly asked.

Artemis' face was tomato-colored, by this time. "I believe he's asking us if we used a prophylactic," he told Holly.

"Oh, I see," Holly said, and nodded. She wasn't nearly as embarrassed by all of this as Artemis was, clearly. She calmly turned to Butler and smiled gently at him. "While normally I would tell someone how very much that _isn't_ any of their business, in your case, I'll make an exception, if only to calm your nerves. _I_am perfectly healthy. Artemis was, until this morning, a virgin." She shot Artemis a sultry glance before turning back to Butler. "And we are not genetically compatible for procreation. He's perfectly safe with me. Feel better?"

There was a ringing silence for a few seconds, and then Butler nodded. "Safe," he repeated. "I guess that remains to be seen."

"Butler, I am _right_ _here_," Artemis interjected crossly.

Holly calmly started eating her breakfast, and the two men eventually followed her example. "I'll have to go up to the surface and perform the ritual, tonight," she said conversationally. "I used all my magic healing you. Thank goodness there's a full moon."

"I'll go with you," Artemis said instantly. "I'll want to see my family."

It was hours until they were alone again, as Holly picked up an acorn from the ground beneath an ancient oak tree. It must have been at least three hundred years old, but it had been taken root, trunk, and branches, from another location and planted next to a stream on Fowl Manor property for the express purpose of the Ritual. Artemis stood with her, his hands in the pockets of his trousers. She looked down at the seed in her hand, and then tilted her head at him. "Arty," she said.

"Yes, darling?" He smiled at her, and Holly grinned back, liking the endearment.

"In the cave, with Driver… was that you in my head?"

Artemis turned more fully toward her, blinking his dark blue eyes. "That wasn't my imagination, then?" he asked her.

"I… I don't know," Holly told him honestly. "When I was looking for you, it was like I could hear you in the back of my mind. You told me to look for the door with the vein of dark rock."

"Yes," Artemis said eagerly, stepping closer to her. "And you threw Driver's phone against the wall and broke it, and I said Foaly wasn't going to like that."

"How did you do that?" she asked, her expression serious. "Where did you get telepathy from?"

Artemis shook his head. "I'm not entirely certain," he told her. They stood there and looked at each other for a while, and finally he nodded at her hand. "You should plant that acorn, Holly."

Holly knelt and dug a small hole with her fingers, placed the acorn inside, and covered it again. "I return you to the Earth, and claim the gift that is my right," she murmured. Magic surged from the ground in bluish sparks and infused her with power. She arched from the sensation, sucking in a great lungful of air. It felt so good. She stood back up and stretched her arms above her head, sighing. She could feel Artemis' eyes on her, and she turned to look at him and gave him a coy little smile. She held out her hands. "Come here," she beckoned.

Artemis closed the distance between them and knelt on the leaf-strewn grass. And then Holly was in his arms, kissing him under the moonlight, and it was glorious. He never wanted to stop kissing her, feeling her lips glide over his, tasting her mouth. Suddenly they were both fumbling for their clothes, unzipping, unbuttoning, and yanking cloth out of the way. Holly pulled one leg of her trousers off and that was enough, enough to get him inside of her, just _there_.

Artemis drove into Holly hard and fast, deep moans wrenched from his throat every time his hips slammed into hers. His voice was joined by hers, higher and breathier, interspaced with Gnomish cursing and his name. She gathered fistfuls of his black hair and held on for dear life, surrendering to the sensations of being taken like this, full of magic and the man she loved. Neither of them lasted long, and Holly finished first, arching against him and clenching around him, her face buried against his chest as she cried out his name. Then he was exploding into her, gasping and shuddering.

The sounds of the night slowly broke into their awareness; crickets chirping, the wind teasing the leaves of the oak tree, the stream burbling quietly along its course. Artemis was looking down at her face with the tenderest expression in his eyes. "Thank you," he told her. "That was unexpected and…" he closed his eyes for a second, grinning. "…truly marvelous."

"Thank _you_, Arty," Holly said, and then laughed for the pure joy she felt. They disengaged and he handed her his handkerchief so she could clean up. They straightened out their clothes, and made their slow way back toward the manor, hand in hand. "So what's your theory about the telepathy?" she asked.

Artemis considered his answer for a while. "When Driver started torturing me, I retreated into my mind. I'd read about the technique before, but never tried it until just then."

"What does that mean, you retreated into your mind?" Holly pressed.

"Well… I didn't want to be there for the pain, but my body couldn't escape. So I simply removed my consciousness to a protected corner."

"That simple, huh?" she asked drily.

Artemis chuckled a little. "Thankfully, yes. I'm very clever, you know. Anyway, Orion was there. And so were you. A version of you, asleep on the couch." He caught the way Holly was eying him and hurried to explain. "Orion told me that you'd been there since about the time I was cloned and came back to life. I had to briefly return to consciousness to speak with you on the phone. After that, Driver knocked me unconscious, and I had a dream. You told me to wake you up with a kiss. So I managed to find my way back to Orion and the other you, and I kissed you."

"Did I wake up?" Holly asked.

"You opened your eyes," Artemis answered. "And then when I looked into them, I realized that I was actually looking _through_them. I could see what you were seeing in the real world. It took a while for me to figure out how to make you hear me. You fought Driver, and you know the rest."

Holly squeezed his fingers. "Can you do it again?"

Artemis shook his head. "I've been trying, but the stress must have had something to do with my success. And anyway, we've been together almost every minute since."

"You still haven't explained your theory," Holly pointed out.

"Quite right," Artemis agreed. "My theory is that when I was dead, I stayed here because of my attachments to the world. Mainly, because of my attachment to you, my love. I believe that I simply grabbed a hold of you the only way I could, psychically. Or perhaps our connection has been there ever since we swapped eyes. Then, when I died, the connection wasn't severed, but it was changed, made incorporeal. I believe that the Holly asleep on the couch in my mind was simply my way of representing that dormant connection. Kissing you, waking you up, and looking through your eyes were a way to strengthen the bond and establish that telepathic link."

"Sounds as good as anything I could think of," Holly mused. The house was in sight, now, and they paused to take a look at it, the lights glowing warmly in the dark of the night. "Let's keep this between us, lover."

He smiled down at her. "I like the sound of that," he admitted, his voice dropping. "Lover. And yes, I agree. Our secret."

"Not even Butler," Holly pressed. "He's already got a little bit too much knowledge about our intimate affairs."

Artemis cleared his throat. "Not even Butler," he promised.


	20. Chapter 20

It had been nearly six months since they'd become lovers, and Holly had taken to sleeping with him as often as she could, which was most nights. Artemis was loving every minute of it. And it wasn't just the sex, either. It was having her close to him, holding her in his arms, feeling her heart beat and listening to her breathe. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was, how precious to him.

It was early, and by the clock on the night-stand there was another half hour to go before the alarm went off. They were in bed, nude beneath the covers, and her bum was nestled snugly against his front. Gently, he ran his hand down her arm, sighing at how soft her skin felt. From there he explored the subtle ridges of her rib-cage, and the inward curve of her waist. Slowly, he let his fingers travel up the hillside of her hip and down the gradual slope of her thigh.

Her breathing changed, and Artemis knew she was awake. He smiled and slipped his hand slowly back up her thigh. When he reached her hip bone he changed course and headed toward her navel. She shivered and pressed back against him. "Morning," Holly whispered.

"Good morning, love," Artemis whispered back. He teased her navel, entranced by the languid squirming this elicited. He'd been hard since he'd woken up, and it was easy for her to open her legs and reach between them, and position him at her entrance.

They both sighed when he pushed in. "I love the feel of you inside of me," Holly moaned softly.

Artemis kept the pace slow. She reached behind herself, running her hot little hand up and down his hip, kneading and grasping. He toyed with her breasts for a few minutes, teasing her nipples and filling his palm with the soft mounds. And then she slid her hands between her legs and grasped his balls, fondling them gently. He couldn't help the hard jerk he gave, thrusting hard to the hilt. "Holly," he gasped.

She grinned and looked back over her shoulder at him. "Like that," she encouraged. "Harder, Arty."

He complied, and soon the rhythmic sound of his hips slapping against her bum filled his bedroom. One of Holly's hands left his balls and found the nub of pleasure nestled at the apex of her folds. The other kept fondling his testicles. He started to breathe harder, knowing that his climax was nearing. "I love you," he breathed into her hair.

"I love you, too," she purred. "I'm getting close." Her fingers worked frantically between her legs and she arched back against him. Then she was there, tightening around him, groaning with the sweet release. Artemis ground into her, focused on following her into ecstasy. It didn't take him long.

They lay there in a golden afterglow of perfect contentment for about ten minutes before the alarm sounded. Holly scowled at it. "I hate that thing," she grumbled.

They disengaged and Artemis turned the alarm off. "If you like, I can hire a string quartet to wake us every morning, instead," he said lightly.

Holly laughed and threw a pillow at him, which he wasn't quick enough to stop from catching him full in the chest. "And miss out on waking up like we did this morning? You wouldn't be so cruel."

"No, I suppose I wouldn't," Artemis told her, grinning. "Shall I simply make love to you every morning, instead of the alarm, then?"

"Now _there's_ an idea!" Holly said, delighted.

They showered together, and got dressed, and left his room to face the day. It was an eventful one, for they were going to screen the first animated film he'd commissioned. He tried to convince Holly to wear something with a skirt, but she only raised an eyebrow at him. "Will I ever see you in a dress?" he asked.

"What is wrong with these trousers?" she demanded. "They're comfortable, I can move in them, they're a nice color. At least it's not my LEP uniform."

He nodded, unable to disagree. "But I think you'd look very pretty in a dress."

She glanced at the portrait he'd painted of her performing the ritual. "I know," she said drily. "Tell you what, Artemis. You put on a pair of jeans some day, and I'll wear a dress."

Artemis held up his hands, giving up for the moment. "No need to fight dirty, darling."

Holly smirked, happy to have won this round.

After that they went to the surface and Holly visited with Artemis' family for a few hours while he attended a couple of meetings.

Holly really liked Artemis' family. His mother and father were about as gracious as they could be to her, and his little brothers were highly amusing, particularly Beckett. At seven years old, they were only slightly taller than she was.

Beckett, with his blond curls falling into his eyes, was teaching her how to dance while Myles played a rather nice little waltz on the piano. "One, two, three," counted out the sturdy little boy. "One, two – ouch!"

"Sorry," Holly told him. "I'm not very good at this."

Myles turned around on the piano bench and eyed them critically. "If it helps, you should think of it like a martial art form, a kata," he offered. "That's how Juliet got Beckett to learn it. He thought he was learning evasive maneuvers."

Beckett laughed and nodded. "It's true," he told her.

"Well, I think I'm done, anyway," Holly said, stepping toward the couch. "I don't really need to learn how to dance. It was fun, though."

"Of course you need to learn," Myles said loftily. "If you're going to marry our brother, you need to learn to dance."

"I still think she's too short to dance with him," Beckett said dubiously. "He has to pick her up just to kiss her. And if he's holding her up while they dance she doesn't need to learn anything, anyway."

"If I'm going to what?" Holly asked, raising her eyebrows at the boys.

"We've seen you kissing," Myles said, and Beckett nodded, making a face. "When a man and a woman love each other, they kiss and get married."

"And they sleep in the same bed. You and Arty do that already even though Mum said you should be waiting until after the wedding." Beckett chimed in.

"That – that's really none of your business," Holly spluttered.

"Of course it's our business," Myles said patiently. "We're going to be his best men. Or the ring-bearers, maybe. We could each bring a ring down the aisle."

"I get to carry yours," Beckett called out. "I promise I won't drop it."

"I don't _have_ a ring," Holly protested. She could feel her face turning red.

"Yes, you have," Beckett said eagerly. "I've seen it!"

"Beckett!" Myles said. "You weren't supposed to _tell_!"

Beckett gave a guilty little start. "Oops," he said sheepishly.

Holly stared at them, quite stunned. She sat down on an ottoman. The boys stared at her until they all heard their mother coming into the room. Angeline took one look around and asked, "What's happened? Holly, are you all right?" She came closer, looking concerned.

"Beckett told Holly about the ring Artemis got her, even though it was supposed to be a secret," tattled Myles primly. Beckett grimaced and pinched his brother's arm. Myles yelped.

"Boys, go to your rooms this instant," Angeline said crisply. "March, now!" The boys went, with Beckett casting guilty looks over his shoulder and Myles scowling darkly at his twin. Angeline sat down next to Holly and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I had no idea he was that… serious," she murmured.

Holly let out a slow breath and closed her eyes. "Mrs. Fowl, I… don't know what to say."

"I think you can call me Angeline," said Artemis' mother softly.

Holly nodded. "Angeline." She looked down at her hands because looking at the woman's face might be too much. "Are you… disappointed?" she asked haltingly. "That it's me, and not a human?"

There was a long pause. "Well, of course, I'll have to wait a bit longer for grandchildren than I'd like, but… you make him happy. That's all that _really_ matters, in the end," Angeline answered.

Holly risked a glance up at her. "Really?"

Angeline nodded. "For a long time I'd hoped it would be Minerva. She's such a sweet girl, and so smart, and she and Artemis can make each other laugh. But on some level he's always loved you, hasn't he?"

"No, not always," Holly said quietly.

"Long enough." Angeline smiled down at her. "You should see the way his face lights up when he speaks of you. He was such a… a sad boy, after his father disappeared. And I was no help." Angeline's face was briefly full of shame. "Somehow, though, you fixed him, didn't you? I will always be grateful to you for that, Holly. You never have to fear that I won't accept your love for each other."

"And Artemis' father?" Holly asked. "What does he think?"

"Much the same," Angeline answered. "We've talked about it. Ever since he was kidnapped by that horrid Driver." She patted Holly's shoulder comfortingly. "I'm sorry that the boys spoiled Artemis' surprise."

"Oh," Holly said. "Yeah, well… it gives me time to think, doesn't it?"

Angeline gave her a rather guarded look. "Think? Don't you want to get married to Arty?"

"I… don't even know if it's legal," Holly said after a second. "I mean… I don't exist in your system, so it's not like we can register at the city hall. And I don't know if our legal system would allow it, either. We could do a ceremony, but whether or not the Council would acknowledge it, I have no idea." She was frowning, an expression mirrored by Angeline.

"You didn't answer my question," Artemis' mother pointed out.

Holly held her breath and thought about it. "Yes," she finally whispered. "But it's so soon. He's only eighteen, barely a man."

"I think if he's man enough to save the world, to save your life, and man enough to be your lover, then he's man enough to be your husband," Angeline said pointedly. "Think about that for a bit," she advised.

And Holly did.


	21. Chapter 21

When Artemis came home later for lunch, Holly was in the kitchen with Mrs. Fowl and Juliet. The two human women were standing, leaning against the counters, and Holly was perched on the granite-topped island in the center facing them. They'd been discussing the merits of short hair versus long, with Holly staunchly supporting short, and the others defending long.

"Come on, Juliet," Holly reasoned. "You can't tell me that that long tail of yours hasn't been a hindrance in a fight, now and again."

"Sure it has," Juliet agreed. "But all my fights are rigged." She paused. "I guess I can see how a real soldier like yourself would rather keep it short, though."

"But your hair is such a pretty color, Holly," Angeline protested. "I'm sure it would be gorgeous if you grew it out. When I was a girl I would have given anything for red hair."

"You can always dye it," Juliet suggested brightly.

"Don't do that, Mother, I love you just as you are," Artemis said, stepping into the kitchen. "And so do Father and Myles and Beckett."

Angeline smiled at her son and embraced him. "Ah, you little scamp. When did you develop so much charm?"

"Hey, Arty," Juliet greeted him. "Oh, Mrs. Fowl, I just remembered. That thing. We have to go do that thing. In the other room."

Angeline blinked. "That… thing, yes. Oh, yes, of course. We do." She whirled into activity, putting away the kettle and rinsing out her mug. "We'll leave you two in here while we go do that thing," she said laughingly. "Please don't think that this is a poorly disguised attempt to give you two a few moments of time alone together before everyone arrives for the movie." And with that, they left.

Artemis looked at Holly and they both burst into laughter. "Hello, Holly," he said, his voice dropping a bit as he stepped up to the counter where she sat.

"Hello, Arty," she greeted him. She slid her knees apart and he leaned against the counter, letting her trap his hips. He planted his hands on the counter-top on either side of her hips and she reached up to grab his tie and tug him a little closer. "Did your meeting go well?"

"Yes, very well, thank you," he murmured. Then he kissed her softly on the lips. "And how was your morning?"

"It was lovely," she answered. She kissed him back. "The boys tried to teach me to dance."

He grinned at the thought. "Beckett loves dancing. Did Myles play for you?" Another kiss, this one long and lingering.

"He's really getting good," Holly answered. They touched their lips together once more, and soon enough all thoughts of small talk vanished. They were careful to keep their relative positions, though, and keep their hands mostly to themselves. There were small children in the house, after all, and neither of them wanted to be responsible for uncomfortable scenarios. But even Angeline and Artemis, Sr., were caught kissing once in a while.

A soft gasp from the door made them break apart and look over.

Minerva was standing there, looking very pretty in a soft pink dress and matching ballet slippers, and quite shocked. Her mouth was open in a perfect O of surprise. She turned as pink as her dress. "I'm – I'm so sorry," she said. "I didn't realize you were – oh!" She turned and fled.

Artemis turned back to Holly, his eyes wide. "That was awkward. Should I go after her?" he asked.

Holly shook her head. "No, let me," she said softly. She pulled his face closer for one final kiss and then hopped down from the counter. After she left the kitchen, Artemis stood there for a moment longer, and then went to his office. It didn't take him long to find Minerva on the bank of monitors wired to the security cameras. She was in a small parlor at the window, wiping her face with a dainty lace-edged handkerchief. Holly entered a moment later and Artemis, with one final glance to make sure his door was closed, turned up the volume.

"Minerva?" Holly said softly. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, Holly," said Minerva. She'd been practicing her English, of course, and now spoke it with a perfect Oxford accent. "I'm so sorry. I really had no idea that the two of you were in there." She turned a bit more pink.

Holly joined her at the window and they both turned to look out the window, which meant that Artemis couldn't see their expressions any longer. "You didn't expect to see us kissing, did you?" the elf asked.

Minerva hesitated, but shook her head. "No, I didn't."

"I'm sorry if that hurt you," Holly said softly. "We never wanted to hurt anyone."

Artemis heard Minerva sniffle. "Do you love him?" she asked.

Holly was nodding almost before the question was finished. "I do," she assured the young woman. "I tried not to for a long time, but he's impossible not to love, once you get to know him."

"Tell me about it," Minerva murmured.

Artemis felt torn. One the one hand, he felt overwhelming love for Holly, and pride in the fact that she loved him in return, even found him impossible not to love, but on the other hand, he felt sad that he'd somehow hurt Minerva, and he felt sorry for her.

Holly reached up and patted Minerva's arm. "He considers you a dear friend," she said. "I hope you won't stop being his friend. You're one of the few people who understands his humor."

Minerva was silent for a half a minute, and Artemis began to worry. Then she shook her head, her blonde curls bouncing a little. "I won't stop being his friend," she said. "Or yours. And I won't try to split you up. As jealous as I am of you… I respect you more. And I respect his choice. I want him to be happy, you know, and if I can't do it, I won't stand in the way of the woman who can."

"I'm glad to hear it," Holly told her, her voice sincere. "Thank you for understanding and being so mature about this."

Minerva nodded. "I'll find someone else," she said, trying to sound light-hearted. "After all, I'm quite the catch."

Holly laughed and nodded. "That you are," she agreed. "You'll find a handsome young man who will sweep you off your feet."

"A tall young man," Minerva decided. "With a warm smile and broad shoulders, who thinks I am the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, and is undyingly devoted to my happiness, as I will be to his."

"Absolutely," Holly agreed. It sounded like she was smiling. "Broad shoulders are the best."

Artemis frowned and glanced at his own shoulders, which weren't particularly broad. And he knew he wasn't anywhere near tall, though that didn't seem to be an issue when he was with Holly.

"I suppose it's for the best," Minerva sighed. "There is still so much for me to do. I'm this close to earning my Nobel prize. Perhaps I'd already have gotten it, if I hadn't been so… preoccupied with Artemis Fowl." She shook her head. "From now on, I will work twice as hard."

"Nothing wrong with setting goals," Holly said encouragingly.

Finally, Minerva turned from the view and looked down at Holly, who turned to see her, too, and Artemis had a good view of their profiles. "You must promise me something, though," Minerva demanded.

"Yes?"

"Don't break his heart. He's such a good man. He deserves to be loved. If you ever hurt him… then I'm afraid, as his friend, I will have to do something rather drastic."

Holly's face was dead serious. "I won't," Holly promised. "He's a part of me."

Long seconds went by and Artemis watched them stare at each other. Then, like there was some kind of unspoken communication, they both nodded. "Let's go," Minerva murmured, and they left.


	22. Author's Note

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who has read and left a review! I love knowing what fans think. It really warms my heart to read all the kind words and helpful suggestions.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much for a while, now. Part of the reason is because I am in college, and I am trying to keep my 4.0 GPA so I don't lose my scholarship. Part of it is because I am dealing with the grief over my dogs, both toy poodles, being attacked by Rottweilers while we were out for a walk two days before this past Christmas. One of them had to have two inches of her intestines removed, and the other one didn't make it. I am now dealing with a lawsuit against the Rottweilers owner, who refuses to take responsibility or even answer my attempts to contact him. (Full story here - SophieSophie dot webs dot c o m) I am so lucky to have a friend, who is a lawyer, represent me pro bono.

I thank you all for your patience, and I do think about this story from time to time. Rest assured that some day I will get back to it!

-Fluffy


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